Posts in COLD

Choking to Death (and other bedtime stories)

published by Fran Shea

Sure, talking about your gut health and fermented foods might make you the hit of a New Year’s Eve party, but try to remember it’s not about being popular… it’s about being healthy. HEALTHY.

Do I miss the days of eating and drinking whatever I wanted?? No, sir! Not when there are teenagers in the house who keep me from choking to death! Phew!

Thank the Lord I don’t ALSO have a tap-dancing sociopath in the house. That would make my new diet even more difficult and winning penmanship medals impossible.

NICE TRY, 2016

published by Fran Shea

Sometimes Millie puts her face right up to my face and her breath is so bad it fills me with rage. SPEAKING OF SMELLS, the third floor of my second apartment reeked of body odor (not mine) and potato curry, and every day I trudged down the hallway with a fat newborn and a backpack full of dreams. And that was how I crushed the Spring of 1992.

2016 is almost over but who’s still laughing? ME. That’s right, I may be surrounded by bad smells and bad news but I’m still on top. Here is my (perhaps) last Christmas card of the year:

 

 

Winter Sports

published by Fran Shea

Sandwiched between Freshman French and Physical Science was a class called Winter Sports. Three solid months learning badminton and cross-country skiing. Vintage equipment was pulled from a locked storage closet

and it was just like renting shoes from a bowling alley if the bowling alley was a Run on Baileys Building and Loan

and the disgruntled customers were 30, fifteen-year-old students

Class lasted for 50 minutes which was exactly enough time to gather winter wear from our lockers, run to the first floor, check out/swap boots and skis, bundle up, ski across the parking lot, turn around, ski back to school, return our gear/disrobe, run to our lockers, and head to class.

Speaking of Winter Sports, my friend and I discussed her Solo-Sledding adventures the other day. She told me it’s her Me Time. Good for her!

Urban Hermitage

published by Fran Shea

Discovering Instacart might change my life.instacart.IMG_8593These modern services enable my dwindling desire to engage with the outside world.

IN JANUARY. IN MINNESOTA.

And why should I leave my house when Millie the Dog is learning to speak Human?

If only the shop were actually connected to my house.back door to shop.IMG_8614Just look at that commute! Ridiculous.

Or… inspiring? It must be inspiring because I made this.mozart revised

Sort of an Epiphany

published by Fran Shea

I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and not Santa Claus) who put our presents under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.

I got a globe.world events never bothered himBut I barely remember that! I barely remember crying and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the Lord’s day, not mine!

Merry Christmastime, everyone!OMG, Balthasar.new

This Time of Year Fills Me With

published by Fran Shea

this time of yearThe No Coast Craft-O-Rama is TODAY and tomorrow (December 4th and 5th) and Jen has been feverishly printing in preparation.

She must have been too busy to notice my new woodpile!wood pile.IMG_7916Come see all of the Holiday Goodies at the Midtown Global Market today — Jen will be giving out free hugs with every purchase!

Gracias…

published by Fran Shea

…El Niño. I know I’m supposed to be cursing Climate Change… I KNOW.

But how can I curse when meteorologists are predicting a warmer-than-usual winter??

I must embrace the phenomenon the way a mother embraces her wayward son.

IN OTHER NEWS, Jen and I chose 12 cards for the next release using darts, a cardboard cutout of Steve Buscemi, and our first-aid kit.

Here’s a teaser:curse this curse.vertAnd because I always plan ahead, here’s a new Father’s Day card:GOLF browner