Posts in COLD

Summit of Greeting Cards

published by Fran Shea

After spending $80,000 on climbing gear and an entourage of Sherpas in Nepal,

Shriya Shah-Klorfine (foreground), of Toronto, is shown at the summit of Mount Everest. The body of the Canadian woman who died while returning from the summit of Mount Everest is one step closer to being evacuated from the mountain. THE CANADIAN PRESS/ho-Utmost Adventure Trekking Pvt. Ltd.
the Canadian woman reached the Summit of Mount Everest.

I’m sure it was glorious.

The relief, the pride, the joy!

BUT, she forgot one teeny-tiny thing: enough oxygen for her descent. With temperatures hovering around -30° and an altitude of 22,000 ft., she laid her body down on the side of the mountain. 

And died.

everest1Lesson??

Never trust a Sherpa.

Zeichen Press reached a summit too! We’ve been climbing Mount Greeting Card for a looong time and we finally reached the tippity-top: Urban Outfitters.

…But now I’ll have to set a new goal… Suggestions?

Urban Outfitters bought this card — but just to be fancy, it will be printed with a bright blue ink:LetsDoThisLet’s do this, indeed.

Zeichen Press vs. 2012

published by Fran Shea

**Spoiler Alert** Zeichen Press triumphed over Twenty-Twelve.

At times, the year was a nail-biter: will 2012 take it’s boot off of Zeichen Press’s face?… Will 2012 stop hitting Zeichen Press with a folding chair?… Yes and YES.

And as Zeichen Press says adieu to this Year Of Pestilence, Zeichen Press welcomes Twenty-Thirteen — welcomes it the way a mother welcomes the news of another pregnancy. The gift of amnesia is powerful and we are grateful for it. new years resolutionI’m wrapping up the year, as usual, in Brainerd, Minnesota. The temperature is hovering around a balmy 0° and as the supplies dwindle to beer and bacon, we are considering sending the children to town for chocolate and dvd’s. And medical marijuana.

Stay tuned…

Diversionary Tactics

published by Fran Shea

The Christmas Tree lot shack doubled as a meth-lab and while I admire ingenuity and entrepreneurship, I like my Holiday Traditions to be more “cozy-by-the-fire” and less “mix-up-a-batch-in-the-tub.”

BUT THAT’S JUST ME.

The “lot” contained exactly eight trees but due to a Christmas Miracle, we found the perfect tree!

christmas-tree-2012

We only had to retie the tree back onto the car once. To be fair, cooking meth doesn’t really prepare a person for handling Christmas Trees.

My Jewish friends don’t have these stories and this saddens me, so I made them a card:chappy-chanukah

No-Coast And Beyond

published by Fran Shea

The No-Coast Craft-O-Rama was a success!

I think it might be because Jen and I were wearing our new uniforms. jen-and-fran-star-trekIt’s hard to know — but marketing is SO important these days and we really do our best to be, as the kids say, cutting edge.

After the show, we packed our uniforms in bubble-wrap, sat by a roaring fire, and watched the snow fall.

And fall.

And fall.snow-backyard-2012That inspired a Chanukah card!

This goes out to my Jewish brothers and sisters:funky-beat

Behold, I bring you Good Tidings Of Great Joy!

published by Fran Shea

And like the Canadian Goose, she stayed. She stayed and embraced the cold, using her derriére to warm the waters of her pond.

And by derriére, I mean “bottom” and by waters of her pond, I mean “the Midtown Market.”

What?!

It’s time for the No-Coast Craft-o-Rama! TOMORROW (Friday, December 7 AND Saturday, December 8)!!

Here’s what I’ve done to get ready: firewoodThat’s a full cord of wood that I ordered.

AND I made this card:face-melting-holiday-joy-betterJen did everything else.

See you tomorrow!

xo,

Fran

She Wore A Small Christmas Tree On Her Head

published by Fran Shea

Secured to her bonnet with picture wire, butcher’s twine, and Christmas Spirit (egg-nog). That spruce-top sat atop her head for the entire season of Advent.

She knew that it offset her dour expression — an expression she couldn’t redesign. Oh, but the tiny tree brought delight to all she passed!

For those blissful weeks, nobody seemed to notice her stern glower, her face — twisted into the judgmental scowl went unnoticed. She imagined wearing other elaborate fancies on her head — but for now, this would do:tree-hat-lady-new

Man vs. Himself

published by Fran Shea

I was once one of them — an innocent amusement park customer. I looked down at them now, from the highest man-made point in Shakopee, Minnesota. I sighed and listened to the chug-chug-chugging from beneath our coaster — our lives depended on the integrity of a giant bicycle chain. Our open-casket hesitated for just a moment at the tippy-top of the steel summit — hesitated just enough for me to grasp the inevitable free-fall. And as we plummeted to our possible deaths, I screamed.

And wet my pants.

The End

How old was she?

Don’t judge me.

Obviously, I wasn’t born riding a roller coaster, I was born screaming. And wetting my pants.

*Hint: this photograph was taken close to the time of the event and **Double Hint: I’m not the baby.fran-dylan-taken-by-memaSpeaking of literary themes, there is a lot (not really) to dissect in this new (Holiday/Winter Season?) card:born-wearing-skate-3

Countdown To Countdown

published by Fran Shea

The newspaper is delivered to our doorstep each morning (by horse and buggy) and I comb through it — if I find a particularly odd/sad/absurd story, I read it aloud to whomever (the dog) is nearby.

Here is an abbreviated digest of the only (two) articles I remember from the past (two) months: (In alphabetical order)

1) Stratosphere jump by daredevil, Felix Baumgartner: In an attempt to break the world record, Felix jumped from a capsule suspended 23 miles above Roswell, New Mexico.

felix fall

I plan on breaking that record when I get tired of this whole letterpress thing.

2) Talking elephant in South Korea loves Zeichen Press. Strange but true.

Crazy?! I know! Koshik’s trainer must $*#%-love Zeichen Press.

Enough time-wasting.

Here is a new Christmas card (available NEXT Christmas. Sorry).the moose