Posts in Christmas
Running from the law and dressed as a 50s housewife, Pee-Wee said it best:
But I can’t help it. Thanks to my handy iPhone, I snap photos constantly… The animals have started building fortresses to hide from me.
Nice try, Millie. NICE TRY.
Here’s a new (Christmas) card. INSPIRED BY MY COMPULSION.
Sometimes Millie puts her face right up to my face and her breath is so bad it fills me with rage. SPEAKING OF SMELLS, the third floor of my second apartment reeked of body odor (not mine) and potato curry, and every day I trudged down the hallway with a fat newborn and a backpack full of dreams. And that was how I crushed the Spring of 1992.
2016 is almost over but who’s still laughing? ME. That’s right, I may be surrounded by bad smells and bad news but I’m still on top. Here is my (perhaps) last Christmas card of the year:
Sandwiched between Freshman French and Physical Science was a class called Winter Sports. Three solid months learning badminton and cross-country skiing. Vintage equipment was pulled from a locked storage closet
and it was just like renting shoes from a bowling alley if the bowling alley was a Run on Baileys Building and Loan
and the disgruntled customers were 30, fifteen-year-old students
Class lasted for 50 minutes which was exactly enough time to gather winter wear from our lockers, run to the first floor, check out/swap boots and skis, bundle up, ski across the parking lot, turn around, ski back to school, return our gear/disrobe, run to our lockers, and head to class.
Speaking of Winter Sports, my friend and I discussed her Solo-Sledding adventures the other day. She told me it’s her Me Time. Good for her!
Do you need ANOTHER thing to do this Holiday Season?
How about a COLORING CONTEST??
But, Fran, how could I possibly fit this into my busy schedule??
THAT’S EASY BECAUSE WE BROKE IT DOWN INTO STEPS!
~ Step 1: print this picture
~ Step 2: color the picture like your life depends on it
~ Step 3: take a photo of your colored masterpiece with your super smartphone OR scan
~ Step 4: send to email@example.com ~ or snailmail to us
Zeichen Press will choose the winner AND and that person will receive free cards!!!
Now that my fireplace is ready for Winter,
Jen can finally print Holiday cards for our favorite custom customer. Akustiks is a fancy company of acousticians who design the architectural acoustics for theaters and concert halls.
And, correct me if I’m wrong, but a group of acousticians were actually hired by God to assure the residents of Bethlehem that His choir of angels sounded better than some music pouring out of the earbuds crammed in my earholes.
Despite my lo-fi circumstances, I created a new card. Only 38 shopping days till Christmas!
This is the face of a girl who got a globe for Christmas the year before. A girl determined to prove to everyone how much she needed; NAY, deserved the Lite-Brite.
Santa would never make that mistake again.
This determination guided the girl for a lifetime, nothing would stand between her and her singleminded fixations.
One of the latest obstacles were some pesky illustrated creatures who needed to be removed so one frog could fulfill his God-given right to sing Wayne Newton.
And sing he did.
Yours for only $4.50! (SOON.)
January has already been SO busy. I don’t know about Jen, but I’ve had to take a really active role as a listener/watcher.
First this: (Sherlock!)
And then this: (Serial Podcast: season 2!)
And now THIS?? (Making A Murderer, brought to you by the good folks at Netflix and Men’s Wearhouse!)
It’s a lot to keep track of… I’m taking notes if anyone needs them.
Don’t ask me how (DON’T ASK ME), but I was able to squeeze in one card:
Thank you, Religion News Service, for appreciating the ho-ho-Holiday-humdrum-hole-filling. And thank you, Dinah the Cat, for understanding the true meaning of Christmas.And you’re right, you should be in the new Christmas card.
Oh, No Coast Craft-o-Rama… You never let us down! The Midtown Market’s halls were decked and bedazzled with all things Holiday… And handmade goodness was traded for cold-hard-cash.
The Zeichen Press Empire is always draped in black fabric because black is slimming.
Here’s a new Christmas card/fantasy?: