Posts in Jen
Between stalking housepets
and watching scandalous/made-for-Netflix adaptations of Margaret Atwood novels,
I’ve been working on THE PERFECT thank you card to stuff in our online orders. Jen and the Intern keep rejecting everything I make and that’s really hard on my fragile ego.
It never bothered me that the lenses in my glasses were rubber cemented into place and the rubber cement collected sand. I ditched those glasses under a fold in my beach towel so I could run down to the ocean and freely forage for low-tide sea creatures.
It was a free-range life! I wasn’t tethered by social convention! Or hygiene! Fast forward 35 years and I’m still leading a free-range life. Not tethered by social convention! Or hygiene! Today, our press lurched and lunged as if possessed but it was nothing a plastic shim couldn’t fix. See, free-range living!
That’s a filthy, oil-soaked floor and Jen throws cards to the ground when she’s angry. She leads a free-range lifestyle too! THAT’S HOW WE MAKE IT WORK.
(FYI: This is how our beloved C&P looks when Jen isn’t angry:)
Speaking of free-range, I made a new card for all of you (non-vegetarian) LOVERS out there.
Amid controversy and drama (will Jen and Fran ever non-violently agree on paper and envelope colors??
Will the Intern and Tib the Cat ever get along??
WILL FRAN’S MOM EVER STOP LOOKING LIKE FRAN IN 1979/Will Fran ever stop looking in the mirror???)
the New Release is finally done and will be added to the line as soon as I’m done looking in the mirror.
After a shivering and tearful debate, Jen and I (NO THANKS TO THE INTERN WHO SPENT THE LAST FIVE WEEKS TRAIPSING ABOUT EUROPE AND NOT INTERNING) chose the cards for our next release.
Here is a teaser:
FINALLY a card for all of the Trekkies and exotic fish lovers!
Stay tuned for paper and envelope choices! DON’T CLOSE THIS PAGE.
Now that Jen and I are savvy businesswomen we know what it means to write something off and it turns out you cannot write off costumes and puppets, even if they are used for self-expression?? Thank God for our tax guy or we’d be in a Dickensian debtors prison.
Speaking of handfuls of money, I need to get back to writing/designing cards for our next release. Quit trying to distract me with wildfires and Lifetime movies.
Loretta has come such a long way – from an unnamed fetus to sorting wood type.
I doubt she even remembers special moments we shared…
I told her that being my Foot-Twin means she has a lot to live up to and she told me I was crazy. WHATEVER, LORETTA.
While Jen puts her to work in the shop, I’m going to spend the next few weeks admiring my own feet and designing new astrology cards. WHO’S CRAZY NOW, LORETTA??
Jen has her hair done before she picks up Tib
and Tib sharpens her claws on a fence post. It all works out because they both understand strength is tied to beauty and Jen wears kevlar long underwear.
In other news, my niece is getting married in a few weeks so I made her a card:
I apologize in advance.
I don’t know what Jen did between printing cards for the new release, but I was able to fill my time with important things.
It’s best to live in the here and now!
Franmas has come and gone and was filled with begging
and mandatory/all-day posing.
**Not pictured: Flaming effigy/piñata the kids made of/for me.**
After I took this photo, we all laughed and shared a bar of 89% cacao, its whisper of sweetness brought us closer together. And the birthday celebration lasted longer than just 24 hours because the very next day Jen and I started printing the Spring Release!
Our telepathic communication is less fun than it used to be so we started using very subtle mumbling and facial expressions to share feelings of disgust or acceptance when choosing paper and envelopes.
While Jen prints, I conduct important research and send her texts.
Even though she doesn’t respond, I know she nods her head, files the information away, and appreciates it very much. She never sees me mouth the words, “You’re welcome.”
Between watching a stolen copy of Firestarter,
having my myofascial system manipulated, and stuffing Jen’s pants with firecrackers, we had just enough time to choose cards for the spring release. And because I am so generous, I slowed-down the best scene in Firestarter so everyone can enjoy it as much as I did. **SPOILER ALERT** Little Drew is often blinded by rage and uses the pyrokinetic powers she inherited from her mother, Heather Locklear, to burn her enemies alive. Also, George C. Scott can kill a man with one precise karate chop to the underside of the nose. (See clip above.)
NOW, wanna know what cards we chose?? I’ll only show you FOUR, because I am full of mystery.