Posts in Jen
My Mom speed-walks up to the library with her tote bag to solve whatever needs solving. She uses their Xerox machine to copy important pages of uncheckoutable periodicals and checks out the books that are checkoutable. When she is done, she scampers home to (speed) read those books and take notes on a fresh pack of 3″ x 5″ (lined) index cards. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I also feel compelled to solve whatever needs solving but I prefer never leaving my laptop (or house) and using Google to search the World Wide Web. Just this week, I needed to get to the bottom of the origin of our Stone Table.
I opened the drawer and took this photo of the (seedy) underbelly:
APPARENTLY Barnhart Bros. & Spindler operated out of Chicago from 1883 – 1911, BEFORE THAT they were called the Great Western Type Foundry AND THEN they became American Type Founders.
I also learned that ye olde printers used the smooth and clean side of the slab of granite for their own personal gravestone – I can’t wait to share this info with Jen! My brother will be so happy, he hates waste and loves recycling.
After I finished my important research, and because the Intern gave me a huge stack of Tribunes from 1938 to steal graphics from, I wrote and designed a card.
Jen went above and beyond her usual role (Queen of Letterpress) when she took my protagonist/muse to the vet for a wounded paw. We knew it was bad when it looked like Mickey Mouse’s gloved hand (hand?). (AND NOT A MINUTE SOONER.)
Here is Tib at the Uptown Vet… See how she gingerly lifts her damaged digits?
I WANT TO POST A CLOSE-UP SO BAD. Just imagine pus oozing out of a furless area between her toe phalanges. But why was it furless?? STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
While Jen was busy watching vet techs handle My Very Own Tasmanian Devil with (LITERALLY) Hawk Gloves,
I was busy making a Mother’s Day card. This company is obviously 50/50.
Jen’s son, Will, was confirmed last week and my daughter, Lucy, was (OBVIOUSLY) his sponsor.
Becoming a soldier of Christ involves wooden pews and a fancy church and cannot happen on a gold-colored couch. (Sorry, Wonder Years cast.)
But it took this sacred event to bring Will’s doppelgänger to my attention:
Whaat?? Will is a dead-ringer for Jason Hervey! I never would have put that together without this sacrament! PHEW.
Facebook is so good at reminding me of important dates, LEST I FORGET. Normally I’d chisel a statue to honor a significant event, but I settled on creating a letterpress greeting card and ALLOWING the Intern and Jen to print it.
It will be added to our much anticipated Spring Release. And I’m sure if Prince were still on Planet Earth, he’d whisper a thank you and dance away in his tiny high heels.
Winter was saving one last blizzard for the weak but I escaped by hiding under the bed and burying my face in my hands.
I’m not into conspiracies but as soon as I paid my taxes, the sun came out and it was time (for Jen and the Intern) to print and for us to choose paper and envelope colors. Tib the Cat just wanted to be part of it but the Intern held her back with a freshly printed card while we convinced her to not show fear because as soon as Tib senses fear, she attacks.
We watched one woman take control of the situation. It was pretty amazing.
AND THEN, another amazing thing happened…
I donned my favorite costume (a witch) and redesigned a card with the help of the Zeichen Press Team: (Millie, Tib, and Dinah. I’M KIDDING!) Jen and the Project Manager aka The Intern!
I asked them to also put on costumes and despite their icy stares, I know they love me.)
Here’s the card: Coming this Spring to a shop near you!
I heard (via Facebook) we had a lot of snow last week but I don’t know what to believe because I locked myself in my bedroom and closed the… how do you say?? Blankets… on the windows?? Oh, BLINDS. Sunshine and warm weather only leads to selfish behavior and I’d much rather spend my days emailing Jen and the Intern about the Spring release and organizing my tax documents. Spoiler Alert: we chose 12 cards and my tax guy wept with joy when he received my paperwork. (But through his tears, he mumbled something about me being second to none.)
Before my self-imposed deadline arrives, I have time to disclose the two cards that nearly made me exit my cloistered life:
Oh, and despite my other critical obligations, I managed to do some pro bono (Latin for dope) work for a worthy cause: Putting together a podcast for the fine folks at The MS Gym. Anyway, I know what you’re thinking, it’s about time she learned about RSSs and XMLs.
When I need to know what month it is I just observe the animals around me. Simple!
HANG IN THERE, TIB – only 25 days till April!
Jen and The Intern and I are taking a break from a heated discussion about which cards should be dumped and which cards should be spared. Decisions like this require heartlessness and detachment. I don’t even care because I replaced my heart with an alligator’s heart. (COLD BLOODED.) I threw the dumped cards in the alley just to prove how much I didn’t care.
(That’s one of the dumped cards and I STILL DON’T EVEN CARE.)
I already moved on.
Loretta modeled the gift we got for The Intern (to make sure it felt festive) and it sat under the tree until yesterday because she says her pipes froze.
Maybe Loretta can wear two of those Christmas stockings.
We still have one present under the tree and if the recipient doesn’t claim it soon I’ll just have to keep it for myself. #MERRYCHRISTMAS
Between stalking housepets
and watching scandalous/made-for-Netflix adaptations of Margaret Atwood novels,
I’ve been working on THE PERFECT thank you card to stuff in our online orders. Jen and the Intern keep rejecting everything I make and that’s really hard on my fragile ego.
It never bothered me that the lenses in my glasses were rubber cemented into place and the rubber cement collected sand. I ditched those glasses under a fold in my beach towel so I could run down to the ocean and freely forage for low-tide sea creatures.
It was a free-range life! I wasn’t tethered by social convention! Or hygiene! Fast forward 35 years and I’m still leading a free-range life. Not tethered by social convention! Or hygiene! Today, our press lurched and lunged as if possessed but it was nothing a plastic shim couldn’t fix. See, free-range living!
That’s a filthy, oil-soaked floor and Jen throws cards to the ground when she’s angry. She leads a free-range lifestyle too! THAT’S HOW WE MAKE IT WORK.
(FYI: This is how our beloved C&P looks when Jen isn’t angry:)
Speaking of free-range, I made a new card for all of you (non-vegetarian) LOVERS out there.