Posts in Birthday
I am still focused on birthday cards every day but
I make time to obsessively google Novara Big Buzz Bike. Oh, I’ll find one. MARK MY WORDS. When Pam the Cat got smashed by a car, I looked to Craigslist for another kitten to fill the cat-hole-sized space in my heart — enter: Tib.
Different than being raised from the dead (a la Lazarus
or Gage from Pet Semetary – a book I didn’t whip across the room in the middle of the night, circa 1988. Just kidding, I did whip it across the room, circa 1988.) Thanks to Craigslist, bikes and cats can be replaced!
I don’t always (usually) (ever?) do what I’m told but when our New England rep said she wanted MORE BIRTHDAY CARDS and less Freaktastic,
I said, FINE. After crying myself to sleep, I woke up and made this:
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, PAM.
Three easy steps!
- 1. Go to the drugstore.
- 2. Buy readers.
- 3. Read the last line of this card.
My firstborn turned 26 yesterday and between bites of angel food cake, I did the math and figured out that’s more than 6 years older than I was when he was born. I invited him over when I was done with my calculations. He tied a cloth napkin on Millie’s head because he was so grateful that I saved him some birthday cake. Oh, to be young!
I’ll give him this card in about 40 years:
My roommate (she later married my older brother because she couldn’t resist the way he transformed runner-rugs into ponchos) had a boombox and when she wasn’t “busy” playing her bootleg Grateful Dead tapes, I would (loudly) listen to a certain CD on repeat in the kitchen.
I’m sure my baby appreciated those months.
Fast-forward 25 years to a house I actually own and the filthy linoleum has been replaced with less-filthy wood floors and babies have been replaced with dogs wearing kerchiefs.
BUT these are still days that I’m #blessed and #lucky because even without that boombox, I listen to those 13 songs on repeat every fall. And even though those board books have been replaced with MacBooks
my kitchen murals have been replaced with licensed “art” and is seen by more than three people. Right, RSVP?? RIGHT??
WHAT DOES THAT SPELL??
My little brother was in my high school German class and between quacking like a duck whenever he spoke and cheating on tests, I skipped class. JUST KIDDING, KIDS! I never cheated on tests. Kidding! I did cheat… but only on homework. I think… WHO CAN EVEN REMEMBER??
The following photograph features my long-haired little brother. He’s the shirtless one and I am wearing a blue leotard because I liked a farmer’s tan and a pilly bottom.
The Art Licensor needed some sports-themed birthday cards and I love a good cheer, so I made this:
And I appreciate a good miracle, so I made this:
Remember when you were three years old and and ran down a hill and lost control of your legs and ran straight into a wooden post that holds up the picnic pavilion?
My forehead wanted to meet that 4×4 so bad and who am I to stand in the way of destiny?? I don’t pretend to understand the stars! Wait, I do! I do pretend to understand the stars!
While Jen is on the Cape, and between my sobs because I miss her so much, the Intern and I box up orders.
But what about that head-injury?? Hush your sweet mouth and spend the next ten minutes wondering why I am so in tune with the cosmos.
Belting out classic tunes in a rental car on the way back from the beach after not being eaten by a shark is the best/only way to express our love for Cape Cod.
Getting past crippling body dysmorphia, skunk babies, and smelly garbage has only brought us closer together. Yay, Cape Cod!
And because I’m a big fan of Mr. Edward Gorey (who lived, and died, on the Cape once-upon-a-time), I am making some pretty useful medical flashcards. Stay tuned for H-Z…
Oh, and The Intern always performs radical stunts, so I made her this birthday card:
I hope no one in our party is eaten by a shark – fingers crossed!
Silverfish are not really fish and not made of a precious metal. But they do love my bedroom. Observe:
I’d like to say I smashed that one but I didn’t and it probably used my sleeping body as a jungle gym. I have already smashed members of its family and I thought that’d be a warning but obviously it’s not. Now I sleep with a sock on my head and zipped up to the tippy-top in a neoprene bag. But I laugh as I drift off to sleep because I want the silverfish to know I’m not afraid and my kids to know that I’m not insane. HAHA!
Franmas has come and gone and was filled with begging
and mandatory/all-day posing.
**Not pictured: Flaming effigy/piñata the kids made of/for me.**
After I took this photo, we all laughed and shared a bar of 89% cacao, its whisper of sweetness brought us closer together. And the birthday celebration lasted longer than just 24 hours because the very next day Jen and I started printing the Spring Release!
Our telepathic communication is less fun than it used to be so we started using very subtle mumbling and facial expressions to share feelings of disgust or acceptance when choosing paper and envelopes.
While Jen prints, I conduct important research and send her texts.
Even though she doesn’t respond, I know she nods her head, files the information away, and appreciates it very much. She never sees me mouth the words, “You’re welcome.”