Posts in Grandma

GIMME A Z! GIMME AN E! GIMME AN I! GIMME A C! GIMME AN H! GIMME ANOTHER E! GIMME AN N!

published by Fran Shea

WHAT DOES THAT SPELL??

ZEICHEN!!

Right??

My little brother was in my high school German class and between quacking like a duck whenever he spoke and cheating on tests, I skipped class. JUST KIDDING, KIDS! I never cheated on tests. Kidding! I did cheat… but only on homework. I think… WHO CAN EVEN REMEMBER??

The following photograph features my long-haired little brother. He’s the shirtless one and I am wearing a blue leotard because I liked a farmer’s tan and a pilly bottom.

The Art Licensor needed some sports-themed birthday cards and I love a good cheer, so I made this:

And I appreciate a good miracle, so I made this:

As The World Turns

published by Fran Shea

My little sister had baby #2 last week, she gave birth at home but, strangely, didn’t ask me to participate.

Despite my lack of presence, the birth went off without a hitch because anyone can boil water and get towels. (SORRY MOM.)

I will give her this card the next time I break in to her house:

I NEED ALL THE ATTENTIONALSO, I made this because I am so into politics:black white pirateSo, you don’t need to watch the news tonight. You’re welcome.

Being A Better Person

published by Fran Shea

Tib knows it’s summer because the screens are on.

*tib screen window 2016And *I* know it’s summer for other, more important, reasons.swimsuit season is upon usBut I’m trying to be a better person/less into body-sculpting, so I decided to read a book. It was written by The Intern’s daughter, Nora McInerny Purmot.*Its Okay To LaughChapter 25 was especially fun to read because Madge is so near and dear to my heart and I could relate to the notion of elder-abuse.madge chapter 25Except my mom has made it very clear that she wants to be euthanized via pillow-suffocation, pre-elder-abuse.

Oh, mom!

Behold, I Make All Things New

published by Fran Shea

Remember last year when my lung collapsed and my mom had to sleep on a cot in my dingy bedroom so she could walk me to the bathroom in the middle of the night?collapsed lung discharge papersAnd EMTs had to come to that same dingy bedroom, on that very same night, because we thought my chest-tube had fallen out?

No?

I know you’re wondering if the EMTs were cute and why my bedroom was so dingy. Um, my mom volunteered to be their Resusci Annie doll and I’ve been a little too busy building the Zeichen Press Empire to focus on home-making frivolity.

But, between choosing paper/envelopes for the Spring Release and conquering territories, I did refresh my bedroom. And now I see no reason to ever leave it.new roomChoosing paint color is just like choosing ink color. But with less Jen and more anxiety.

Speaking of self-medicating (was I?) here’s a Spring Release teaser (see/buy ALL 12 from the shop!):use.app for this

Around The World In A Day

published by Fran Shea

1985 : Minneapolis

One 13 year old girl (me) biked to Calhoun Square in Uptown to buy a record for her friend’s birthday and almost kept it for herself (myself).

I might have forgotten to ask to borrow the bike from my sister. And might have forgotten to ask permission from my mom to bike there. And I might have not brought a bike lock. And the bike might have been stolen from the entrance where it was super-discreetly parked behind the Calhoun Square signage. AND I might have had to walk home. 

But how could I not risk everything (being grounded) to get that album when I was pretty sure Prince wrote Paisley Park about me??:

Colorful people whose hair

On 1 side is swept back

Sigh.thanks for all the things purple

Childhood/Parenthood

published by Fran Shea

Growing up one block South of Lake Calhoun in the 1970’s meant two things:

1) Over-charging for watered-down Kool-Aid on the boulevard

2) Wearing a neighbor’s pilly-bottomed blue leotard for a swimsuitHeefners&Steph&Fran&AndyLike little ducklings, we’d follow my mom down the block for a day at Thomas Beach; she’d stand ankle-deep in the water, hands on hips, plotting. And staring at the only skyscraper in the Minneapolis skyline.parenthood.like a hangover

Deadbeat Cat

published by Fran Shea

I think Tib The Cat is pregnant. I could have (should have?) put a stop to the coitus, but who am I to stand in the way of true love? WHO AM I? Wait, was that really true love??tib and billy zoom outHmm… Zoom… Enhance…tib and billyGOOD LORD.

Speaking of Father’s Day…listen up old manOh, and did this Father’s Day card ever make it on the blog? (Winky-face.)thanks for fertilizingPS: Apparently my SEO success could be better if I mention letterpress-related words IN my blog posts. Words like: tactile, vintage press, printing, ink, paper, mangled hand.

How To Catch A Fish (Sort Of)

published by Fran Shea

By age nine, I would delicately,

with my right hand, fold down the sharp fins of a Sunfish.

Why? 

So I could use my left hand to insert the rusty pliars into the gasping mouth of my catch to retrieve the swallowed hook.

If I was lucky.

If I wasn’t lucky, I’d stare at my motionless bobber for hours.

*Some backstory: My older brother (third of eight) allowed me to fish with him if I did whatever he said, and didn’t cry. He was SERIOUS about fishing. I had glasses and greasy blonde hair.

**Some backstory about the backstory: My brother was born in September, and I was already a sprouted seed in our Mom’s belly by the next Summer.

I think I’ve used the bobber-watching metaphor before, but it is APT. Everyday, I wait for my agent to tell me to get the rusty pliars.

Why doesn’t he ever tell me to get the rusty pliars??

He just tells me to “hang in there.”hang-in-thereOh, back to my Mom… She has 22 grandkids. This is her with the latest:mom-and-theoHAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!