Blog - World Dominance

There are a couple of things going on around here:

1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s Craftstravanganza.

Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

I think it really shows:

Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

This is what comes of my unwillingness to fold the laundry – I just stare out the window (of my asylum) and think and write inappropriate things. Shouldn’t the children in my imagination be allowed to have one wholesome snowball fight?

Oh, Winter! You blustery old fool – you are the antagonist of the seasons. And as I am the protagonist in my own story, I gladly throw my fleece-lined hat in the ring. It is February and that means Triumph is within my grasp. I can smell it like a plate of clam fries. Mmm, clam fries… Once Upon A Time, I found myself sitting in front of an abandoned plate of clam fries. They were left by an angel disguised as a drunk couple. God is so mysterious!

Here is a new card, inspired by the soft blanket of snow that covers this land:

Remember when I talked about my naming skills? No? That’s okay, I barely remember it myself. Anyway, I did a project with The Carney Group – I named a product that debuted at the 2011 MacWorld Expo to much adulation. Wait, that’s a pretty strong word. To much curiosity. They made the Top 3 Happening Booths but I think that had more to do with the bearded CodeWeavers COO dressing as Cher (I think that’s Cher?? Yucky!)

than the name I chose for the product – which was, by the way: Impersonator. See, it’s software that let’s your Mac run Windows apps without running Windows.

So brilliant.

David Pogue of the New York Times called it “hilarious” and one of the most creative pitches he’d seen all year.

I wonder if he meant last year because otherwise it would just be one of the most creative pitches he’d seen in January. I also wonder if he meant it was one of the most disturbing pitches he’d seen.

I wrote a lot of funny lines and made some cool logos

BUT all of my creative was for naught.

For naught.

They wrote their own lines and made their own logo. That’s cool. I don’t even care. I don’t. I totally let it go. Totally. I’m fine. Oh, here’s a little video I made (rejected by them – which I’m totally fine with. I am. I’m fine. It’s cool. Whatever. It doesn’t even bother me.) to go with the name. Close the blinds and turn on the projector, here’s IMPERSONATOR:

Maybe I’m not so good at “folding cards” or “doing what I’m told.” Maybe Jen is just better at those things because she’s part robot. One of these days she’ll malfunction and I’ll have to jump-start her with a car battery. Let’s see who’s laughing then.

After I inserted 200 of the wrong-colored envelope in with this card,

I did a lot of soul searching. And with a little help from Ms. Jerri Blank and Mr. Jellineck, I remembered that not everyone can be good at everything.

I headed right out to the shop and made this card:

What a day!

Jen and I dream of one day owning a paper-folder. If that day ever comes, we will weep (and probably embrace) for joy – casting our folding-spoons out forever. Forever. But until that day comes, we will fold our cards by hand. We are looking for qualified (have hands) people(s) to assist in the folding. Payment would be in pounds of ground beef and (also) (not ground-up) kittens.

Our folding party (I’m still recovering) last night went pretty well. We folded a lot of this card:

Millie the dog came to the party but had very little to contribute. She was actually really useless.

Urban Indigo-> 3339 Lakeshore Avenue Oakland, CA

Another profile for the special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

This will come as quite a surprise to many (none) of you: But I’m not the seasoned traveler I appear to be. What?? I’m not the gal that climbs confidently into a cab, casually relates Gate Info to the driver while applying a super-coat of lipgloss and checking her voicemail messages.

But this doesn’t stop Zeichen Press Goods from making their way around the globe! Thank God! 

I’m happy to say that Urban Indigo (Oakland, California)

has added our cards to their adorable shop. What can I say about a shop that I’ve never been to in a town I’ve never seen?? I’ll think of something: Owner, Cynthia Bragdon, has amassed a collection of swoon-worthy gifts for any occasion – from mini-terrariums

to pewter wishbones:

I need those things!

But it’s not a random collection of oddities, it’s a random collection of affordable design.

…It’s a gallery of useful art objects.

…It’s in California!!

What are you waiting for??

We outbid everybody (nobody) on ebay and won a hotplate for 99¢. It’s for the JSTKinstructional film that is, as they say, in production. Meaning, we haven’t started yet.

We tried it out, it works, and has two settings: “off” and “burn the house down.” I can’t wait to shoot!

Jen has been printing and pulling decks together for all of our new reps and I have been thinking a lot about the ocean. I’ve never seen the ocean in Winter. So, that’s a lot to think about.

Here’s a new card I made to go with all that thinking:

I don’t know very much about New Zealand

but I do know that, soon, New Zealanders, young and old, will speak the name of Zeichen Press – will clutch these American-made letterpress cards to their breasts, and with closed eyes, whisper, thank God… thank God…

–>This means that we picked up a New Zealand distributor. We have already sent ourselves this card:

I love the ladies of the Jelly Shot Test Kitchen. And when I say I love them it means I love that they trust us. Trust us to create business cards of the future. We’re not sure how lasers work but we all saw Superman II.

These days, lasers are used for more than just pulverizing concrete. And I can prove it:

The latest project for JSTK has nothing to do with lasers. Or letterpress – don’t they know we do LETTERPRESS??  They asked us to create some instructional films.

Naturally, I cleaned my bathtub and got to work:

Here’s what I made: