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I need a mechanic. Or whatever that person is called that fixes printing presses.

I left the house to escape this:

Only to discover:

That’s Jen crammed in the corner (where she should be) trying to figure out why the belt is slipping off our C&P. Why are her hands glowing? If only we had an answer.

Ummmmmmmmmm… it’s, like, snowing.

We tried to venture out in it today but then we saw this:

And this:

That’s a snow plow in a ditch on the side of the highway.

Now we’re doing our Christmas shopping sans danger from our computer – you can too!

Proposals were requested by a public entity (m-m-mysterious!) and WHO ARE WE not to respond?? We felt it our duty (doodie) – as citizens – of this great state, to answer the call.

What follows is a step-by-step account of the creation of the proposal. Zeichen Press style.

°°°

1) Do I look bitter? I’m getting into character. 

2) Brrr! This type is as cold as my heart. Here is the part where lead type is put into something called a stick. Sometimes reading backwards makes me so angry.

3) Now that cold, lead type is locked up into a (cold, metal) frame using fancy (cold, metal) things called quoins. This whole thing is very heavy and sits flat on a proof press. Ready to do my bidding.

4) I load up my brayer with black ink so I can roll it across the type.

5) When I’m sure that my type is evenly inky, I roll this over it. *Notice the vice-grips. I don’t remember why I put them on there and am now afraid to take them off.

6) Isn’t this magical? Ink + paper = awesome.

7) (I would show Jen printing the pages for the guts of the proposal but I felt too fragile to withstand another one of her icy stares.)

8) Printing done.

9) This is where Andrea is shackled to the table and sews the pages into little books while I throw olives at her head.

10) And this is where the little books are finished.

I suppose other people will email their proposals. That’s cool, too.

The No-Coast Craft-O-Rama is behind us and – like so many weekends – it’s all a blur.

I do remember Jen yelling “yahtzee!” whenever someone ordered the Show Special (two eggs, a slice of bacon and Texas toast with a dozen cards). And I remember feeling drunk with power. The top-selling card of the weekend was:

That tells me that Minneapolis is full of a lot of weirdos. Like me.

This card was also a big seller:

And that tells me that Minneapolis is full of a lot of moral ambiguity.

That reminds me! We had a snowstorm on Friday!

Luckily nobody had to eat anyone else to survive. Whew, right? That would not have been great for sales.

Would you rather have your significant other’s hands be replaced with Flounders OR your lips be replaced with a duckbill?

That’s a toughy.

How about: Would you rather have to wear a Kiss the Cook apron everyday (for the rest of your life) OR a multi-colored clown wig?

Sorry about that.

Okay, would you rather do your holiday shopping at the Midtown Market – where there will be 100 venders, vending beautiful/original handmade goodness – the air filled with the smells of exotic foods and the spirit of gift-giving??? OR maybe you’d rather sit at your computer and click on an Add To Cart button??

We’ll see you there! Zeichen Press is at table E-35!

Who put that stupid flyer on my windshield?

Not a flyer! ! A parking ticket??

My first!

What a special day.

I won’t even dispute it.

AFTER THAT HAPPENED, I made this “grocery” list:

AND THEN, I got an email from a writer at Popular Mechanics.

Stifle your laughter. He’s putting together a story about businesses that started as hobbies. Now I have to pretend that I actually enjoyed letterpress as some sort of “hobby” before it turned into this soul-sucking-money-generating-machine.

The Big No-Coast show is only 5 days away.To prepare ourselves, Jen and I are watching hour after hour of training videos. We have found that the only way we can really get into the spirit of a craft show is with a Dolly Parton soundtrack. But I’m sure that’s true for everyone.

That’s what Lucy said in her sleep last night. I thought Millie the Dog said it but I was wrong. It was (disappointingly) just Lucy.

I couldn’t sleep and made this:

We gave Tanek two concepts and one was met with nervous laughter. Why is that such a familiar reaction? Here’s the rejected concept:

We got an email from Kristen Caston at The Donut Project today. I was thinking that maybe somebody was going to send us delicious donuts. It turns out there is a group (gang) of young designers that comb the Earth in search of design goodness. There is so much goodness on this site that I forgot about the delicious donut. (Raised, sugar.) Have a look: