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I made this card

on the Poco No. 0

before Don Draper was a twinkle in Matthew Weiner‘s eye.

Or, a wiener in Matthew Twinkle’s eye.

I’m pretty sure that’s Don Draper, sans cigarette, putting the “A” in MAN. Don Draper, or my idea of the perfect man: Briefcase in hand, exiting the home.

REAL SIMPLE must feel the same way, because they included the card in their Father’s Day collection. I love that magazine. Like Martha Stewart LIVING, it makes me feel inspired andinadequate. I think that’s called having the eye of the tiger. Right? No? Oh, I don’t know.

It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

METRO home is a new special section in METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber. What’s behind those curtains?Yikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

Urban Living Manifesto sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them: settle. down.

Oh, but here’s something cheerful – it’s about Zeichen Press:
Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly (why do I always do it??) sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the May Day Cafe and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the Burlesque of North America table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

Poor thing!

Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

that led to our latest Watch and Share card.

It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

You can buy the card!

Had to drive down to Russell, MN the other day. And when I say “had to drive” I mean “I” drove. Me. Fran. For those of you that don’t know me: Driving on the highway makes me feel like mackerel-chum in shark-infested waters.

I drove most of the way, anyway. I think my fancy shoes made me courageous. There I was, driving down 212 like some kind of commuter – the kids were barely terrified and I was barely crying.

The farm inspired me enough to recycle a line from another card and pair it with this image:

I showed it to my husband and he said, “Oh, that’s really sweet.” and I said, “She’s talking to a pig.” and he said, “Oh. Am I the pig?”

And it’s these little questions that can be left unanswered – that’s how we keep the marriage fresh and mysterious.

Making a mix-tape was a commitment – a good one could take the entire weekend and if there was real dedication, homework would have to be set aside.  

The dual-cassette boombox was essential unless you wanted to wait for your song to randomly play on the radio.

I hated that. …Waiting, hour after hour, both the Play and Record buttons beneath my exhausted, trembling fingers… the tape ready for the next musical masterpiece.

The artwork for the tape case was just as important as its contents. More than just a list of song titles, it was an opportunity for creative expression using a good ball-point pen.

I’ll never make another mix-tape but I don’t even care because I can waste my weekends making mix cd’s.

We all can!

And of course stuff them in a Zeichen Press mixpak!

I wish someone would make me a mix cd… (PLEASE!!)

Two cousins sat in the front seat of the Chevy Malibu.

The car was parked in the driveway and they waited while it ran and the radio played. “I love this song!” the older cousin was delighted and grinned grotesquely.

The meaning of the song was completely lost on the girl. Many other things were lost on the girl. Like: braces, a toothbrush, a proper haircut, and not wearing her uniform on picture day.

The younger cousin would not lose this opportunity to educate her older cousin. She cupped her hands to her mouth and whispered seriously, “he’s talking about naked ladies.”

It would take years for the older cousin to make sense of what she heard. What could the lyrics, “My angel is in center field” have to do with naked ladies?

ANYWAY, we’re doing a project with my cousin (Sarah Gute) and her husband (Brian Gute).

They’ve ordered the usual: Logo. website, marketing plan. Rototilling. Diaper changing.

Stay tuned!

And yet, they keep applying.

They have no skills and they’re not even helpful.

They actually make more work for me plus I don’t even know whose idea it was to let Susie get pregnant again.

The only break I get from this mayhem is when I lock myself in the bathroom to cry. (Once a day.)

But I must carry on.

SO, Fred photographed the new cards and I added them to the shop – here’s a sample:

Give this card to someone with a flying phobia, they will think you’re really funny.

I am reflective as I sit, sipping my Hill Bros. latte and picking popcorn hulls out of my teeth. Lucky for me I was born right in the middle of the most optimistic month of the year. People (in Minnesota) born in April are sunny and full of, what the French call, naiveté. C’est vrai!

Embrace it, you Spring Chickens!

Here’s a new birthday card I just gave myself:

There are 21 States left in America that don’t have the luxury of being able to pick up a Zeichen Press card at their favorite boutique.

21.

This troubles me. How can we call ourselves a great nation when we can’t even get the people what they need??

I’m talking to you, Sales Representatives in Those Neglected States. You know who you are. It’s never too late to contact us.

As for you, You Lucky States: You can thank these people for making your lives just a little bit better.

Amen.