Mawkish - greeting cards

[maw-kish] adjective sentimental in a feeble or sickly way • archaic having a faint sickly flavor : the mawkish smell of warm beer

I don’t think I understand the definition. Or, maybe I do. Aren’t a lot of greeting cards mawkish?

Who would give that card? Wait, who made that card? Probably a very nice person. A person who loves hearts and roses and rhymes and sparkles.

I tried to make a mawkish card. That’s Hugh Beaumont, the kindly father from Leave it to Beaver.Hugh hated that he was typecast and later opened a Christmas tree farm in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. I don’t think he opened the Christmas tree farm because he hated that he was typecast. But I don’t know – he was obviously a complicated man.

It’s hard to put a price tag on joy and laughter, but we did: $10.

Actually, four cards for $10. This, and Jen not wearing a top, made our shoppers more giddy than usual.

The Zeichen Press booth was a beacon of laughter bobbing in the sea of wrist-warmers, nose-rings, and ironic Christmas sweaters.

I hid behind our card racks for two days and talked to Jen about important things like iron lungs and Santa Clause while our customers snort-laughed (my favorite kind of laugh). There was even a gal that was laughing so hard she had to stamp her foot on the floor. Those responses made me feel like this:

And I think Jen felt like this:

Finally, a man came up to us and told us all about human exoskeletons. (See blog post #390: Freak-Magnet) Eventually, he rode away on a unicorn.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that the No Coast Craft-O-Rama was, once again, awesome.

PS: No show would be complete without a little danger and ours came in the form of an icy, yet beautiful, drive home.

And like the phoenix, the New Patina (50th & Bryant) has risen from the ashes of the Old Patina! It’s BEAUTIFUL!!! 

I have said, AND I QUOTE, “If Patina carried a coffin, I would kill myself just to be buried in it.”

You may now throw-up. (I swear I’ll never quote myself again.)

It’s weird that the following photos have Zeichen Press cards in the foreground:

METRO Magazine thinks their readers might like to see a how-to on letterpress printing. Strangely, they asked me to put one together. It should be online in a week or so but I’ll post it here first because I’m generous. °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°#1) This is called a printer’s block or advertising cut. All Zeichen Press cards start with one of these.

#2) These backwards lead letters are called type. Before computers, they were the only way to print anything. We have cases and cases of them and I like to arrange them into words.

#3) Everything is locked into a heavy-metal frame called a chase using furniture (wood and metal blocks) and quoins (expanding metal wedges). This weighs about as much as my firstborn child. (Ten pounds. TEN POUNDS.)

#4) The chase is pinned into the bed of the press where the rollers can roll over it.

#5) This 1,500 pound printing press was made in the 1930’s by the Chandler & Price Company in Ohio. That round thing in the upper right is called the ink disc. A little ink is dabbed on it, the rollers ride up the rails and onto the ink disc – get covered in ink and spread it across the forme (the type and printer’s block locked into the chase pinned into the bed of the press). I love this press because it is capable of creating beautiful things and crushing your hand.

#6) A blank piece of paper is held onto the platen using little pins. The paper will meet the inked forme when the press closes like a giant evil clam. I always smile like this when I face danger. 

#7) Jen will print a bajillion of these and they will be added to our line.

There would be no Christmas cards – NAY, no greeting cards if not for Mr. Louis Prang.

There would be no Zeichen Press without Mr. Louis Prang.

Shut your mouth!

It’s true.

That’s why the biggest (only?) greeting card event of the year is named after him: The Louie Awards. We decided (it was a big decision because we hate rejection and it cost $65) to enter a card this year in the friendship/encouragement category.

There were nearly 1,000 entries and only three were chosen to be finalists in each category. All of my prayers to the Patron Saint of Greeting Cards (St. Valentine, of course) were answered.

The award ceremony is in May and I’ve already started writing my acceptance speech: “(Laughing) Is this really happening?? I can’t believe this… um… okay… I can’t believe I was even in the same category as ________ and ________! Wow… Such an honor… (stammer, tear up, brush hair away from face) Wow… okay, I had nothing prepared… “

And so on. 

Last night was our first monthly (WHAT? Didn’t I tell you guys that??) card folding party. Jen was noticeably absent. She was invited, she told me she doesn’t mix business and pleasure. Or maybe she said she tries not to see me more than she has to.

Either way, she wasn’t there.

Wine was drunk and 1,000 cards were folded:

You can be a part of the magic! Send me an email – if you own a spoon, have two hands, and aren’t planning to kill me – you can join us!

My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

What a woman.

She also kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

Let’s write one together!

First, choose a card:Now on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

1) Begin with a greeting: Dear Aunt Shirley,

She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it: Thank you so much for the medical marijuana! If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash, do not mention it. Speak instead of her “generosity.” Thank you for your generosity!

3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift: I smoke it everyday!

4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting: It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

5) And scene: Love, Fran

Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:

We outbid everybody (nobody) on ebay and won a hotplate for 99¢. It’s for the JSTKinstructional film that is, as they say, in production. Meaning, we haven’t started yet.

We tried it out, it works, and has two settings: “off” and “burn the house down.” I can’t wait to shoot!

Jen has been printing and pulling decks together for all of our new reps and I have been thinking a lot about the ocean. I’ve never seen the ocean in Winter. So, that’s a lot to think about.

Here’s a new card I made to go with all that thinking:

The car was packed and I squeezed myself between a card rack, a change box, some stuffed animals and one dozen boxes. I was just lucky there was room for me at all. Okay? OKAY?

Jen and I have gotten pretty good at setting up for a show. It goes like this: I ask Jen which cards I should put where. She tells me. I do it. She dismantles what I did and does it a different way. It’s very efficient.

All the big names (in printmaking) were at MCBA on Thursday for the Mid America Print Council Conference Press Fair. Jenni Undis (of Lunalux) and I put on our roller skates and got into a battle – it ended with lots of hair-pulling and some teeth (hers) on the floor. It was worth it because I earned the title of “Letterpress Queen.” Maybe next year, Jenni. Maybe next year.

A fair wouldn’t be complete without, at least, one doppelganger:

What a pleasant stalker!

OH, ALSO: Miss Amy Jo was there! Good Lord, her work makes me love her. I’m sorry you had to hear that, Miss Amy Jo.