Blog - New Cards

Life is like the murky end of our lake and you’ll have to dump in a 10 lb. bag of Aquacide Pellets if your mom isn’t there to rake the weeds away.

What is she talking about?

Don’t act like you don’t know.

Do you need a Congratulations-ish card?

You do?!

It only took a few minutes to have a mole removed last week (my chest tube scar needed a BFF) and I texted Jen when it was done, exclaiming my relief at the speediness of the procedure.

She told me that that was the easy part.

That’s the way our relationship works — I get my head all full of smells of burnt flesh and joy, and Jen tethers my helium balloon to the doorknob.

It works. IT WORKS.

It’s time, once again, to print cards for the new release.

Choosing a corresponding envelope color can be difficult, and when Lucy or Loretta are unavailable we use another neutral third party.See how intense she is?

SETTLE DOWN, DINAH.

PS: You know we didn’t win Martha’s American Made Award competition. Stop asking.

We find out on Friday if Martha is adopting us — I already packed my bags. I told Jen to pack hers but I don’t think she heard me as she was pealing out of the driveway with her windows rolled up. Oh, Jen!

We (Jen) started printing the new release today, and to celebrate, Millie left Jen a present right in front of Zeichen Press HQ.It only seemed appropriate that this card be printed first:

The rest of the week (until the adoption), we (Jen) will be printing all of the new cards:

Remember how I promised that when my painkillers wore off, I’d make a card based on The Lung Collapsing Event? It turns out that I only needed them for a couple of days and flushed the rest ~ DON’T GET ANY IDEAS ~ and then I made this breakup card:

Recovering from a collapsed lung is the perfect time to learn all about hashtags.

Thank you, lung!

I obsessively tweeted and nagged everyone on Facebook. I’M SORRY EVERYONE.

Wait, #HelpMe.

It’s been a trending/not-trending rollercoaster-week for Zeichen Press…YOU MUST REALLY BE SUFFERING!

But may the best (wo)man (named Fran and Jen) win. Did I mention that you have to vote 6x every day through October 13th? And did I mention that my doctor told me that my other lung will collapse if we don’t win??

PS: I made a new Mother’s Day card…

Merry Jenmas, everyone!

MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents for Jen on my living room floor last night? Oh, Millie…

Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.

I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!How could I have been so blind for so long?!

No matter. Here’s a card.

You know what I’m talking about??

Read the card out loud for full effect.

When my daughter was small (until she became a giant),she wrestled daily with Jungian archetypes… She was fascinated by the Actor/Storyteller… and the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf was a favorite.

Oh, that Boy!! She was disgusted and fascinated!

Ahh, there is nothing like a Midsummer Night’s Homebirth!

Oh, and here’s a card. I’VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY??