Blog - New Cards

January has already been SO busy. I don’t know about Jen, but I’ve had to take a really active role as a listener/watcher.

First this: (Sherlock!)

And then this: (Serial Podcast: season 2!)

And now THIS?? (Making A Murderer, brought to you by the good folks at Netflix and Men’s Wearhouse!)

It’s a lot to keep track of… I’m taking notes if anyone needs them.

Don’t ask me how (DON’T ASK ME), but I was able to squeeze in one card:

I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and not Santa Claus) who put our presents under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.

I got a globe.But I barely remember that! I barely remember crying and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the Lord’s day, not mine!

Merry Christmastime, everyone!

If only they would stop their playing and look over at me… Why is MY friend even playing with my stupid brother???… Maybe if I wave my arms and jump higher on this strangely super-tall bed in our basement… No, that didn’t work… Hold on… I’ll just climb down and drag over that chalkboard to lay flat on the floor because it looks more like water than the off-brown linoleum… Perfect… Now, I’ll roll over the large black, rubber inner-tube we float on at the lake… Just plop it right on top of the chalkboard… Looking good… Ok… NOW, I’ll climb back up on the bed and jump some more…

“LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

I hysterically scream, while diving face-first into the center of the inner-tube.So much blood. So many tears. And my friend was sent home??? WHY MOM, WHY?!

Thank you, Religion News Service, for appreciating the ho-ho-Holiday-humdrum-hole-filling.  And thank you, Dinah the Cat, for understanding the true meaning of Christmas.And you’re right, you should be in the new Christmas card.

Oh, No Coast Craft-o-Rama… You never let us down! The Midtown Market’s halls were decked and bedazzled with all things Holiday… And handmade goodness was traded for cold-hard-cash.

The Zeichen Press Empire is always draped in black fabric because black is slimming.

Here’s a new Christmas card/fantasy?:

Dinah always makes such a big deal about choosing paper and envelope color for a new release.

First, she has Jen print a card:

And then she does this:

She is such a taskmaster.

…El Niño. I know I’m supposed to be cursing Climate Change… I KNOW.

But how can I curse when meteorologists are predicting a warmer-than-usual winter??

I must embrace the phenomenon the way a mother embraces her wayward son.

IN OTHER NEWS, Jen and I chose 12 cards for the next release using darts, a cardboard cutout of Steve Buscemi, and our first-aid kit.

Here’s a teaser:And because I always plan ahead, here’s a new Father’s Day card:

I’m not sure if he was gently curb-stomped, or he bit into a fresh apple. Either way, he lost his front teeth.

Did I even see Jen on her birthday last week??

Hmm, I don’t think so… But I still made her a card because my love for her just bubbles over and soils the stovetop with a sort of gravy that becomes crusty and has to be scraped off months later with steel wool and maybe a knife.

Whew!

That’s a lot of love!GET IT?!?! CAT-SUP???

Omg, it just doesn’t stop over here!

Do you need to sell something? You do??

PUT A CAT ON IT.That sweatshirt is not to be worn ironically and can be yours for a mere $65.

But really, it’s not even realistic. What sort of galaxy is full of white kittens and multi-colored roses??

And where’s the wine and unicorn??

All of those adorable kittens in space DID inspire a graduation card. Don’t ask me why. DON’T ASK ME.