Blog - Marketing

Two cousins sat in the front seat of the Chevy Malibu.

The car was parked in the driveway and they waited while it ran and the radio played. “I love this song!” the older cousin was delighted and grinned grotesquely.

The meaning of the song was completely lost on the girl. Many other things were lost on the girl. Like: braces, a toothbrush, a proper haircut, and not wearing her uniform on picture day.

The younger cousin would not lose this opportunity to educate her older cousin. She cupped her hands to her mouth and whispered seriously, “he’s talking about naked ladies.”

It would take years for the older cousin to make sense of what she heard. What could the lyrics, “My angel is in center field” have to do with naked ladies?

ANYWAY, we’re doing a project with my cousin (Sarah Gute) and her husband (Brian Gute).

They’ve ordered the usual: Logo. website, marketing plan. Rototilling. Diaper changing.

Stay tuned!

Dynamite magazine was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.

But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the Hang in There! poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:When I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

Let me explain: Beneath various cards in our online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud. Why? Because even the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

There would be no Christmas cards – NAY, no greeting cards if not for Mr. Louis Prang.

There would be no Zeichen Press without Mr. Louis Prang.

Shut your mouth!

It’s true.

That’s why the biggest (only?) greeting card event of the year is named after him: The Louie Awards. We decided (it was a big decision because we hate rejection and it cost $65) to enter a card this year in the friendship/encouragement category.

There were nearly 1,000 entries and only three were chosen to be finalists in each category. All of my prayers to the Patron Saint of Greeting Cards (St. Valentine, of course) were answered.

The award ceremony is in May and I’ve already started writing my acceptance speech: “(Laughing) Is this really happening?? I can’t believe this… um… okay… I can’t believe I was even in the same category as ________ and ________! Wow… Such an honor… (stammer, tear up, brush hair away from face) Wow… okay, I had nothing prepared… “

And so on. 

The weekend in pictures:

There are a couple of things going on around here:

1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s Craftstravanganza.

Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

I think it really shows:

Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

Remember when I talked about my naming skills? No? That’s okay, I barely remember it myself. Anyway, I did a project with The Carney Group – I named a product that debuted at the 2011 MacWorld Expo to much adulation. Wait, that’s a pretty strong word. To much curiosity. They made the Top 3 Happening Booths but I think that had more to do with the bearded CodeWeavers COO dressing as Cher (I think that’s Cher?? Yucky!)

than the name I chose for the product – which was, by the way: Impersonator. See, it’s software that let’s your Mac run Windows apps without running Windows.

So brilliant.

David Pogue of the New York Times called it “hilarious” and one of the most creative pitches he’d seen all year.

I wonder if he meant last year because otherwise it would just be one of the most creative pitches he’d seen in January. I also wonder if he meant it was one of the most disturbing pitches he’d seen.

I wrote a lot of funny lines and made some cool logos

BUT all of my creative was for naught.

For naught.

They wrote their own lines and made their own logo. That’s cool. I don’t even care. I don’t. I totally let it go. Totally. I’m fine. Oh, here’s a little video I made (rejected by them – which I’m totally fine with. I am. I’m fine. It’s cool. Whatever. It doesn’t even bother me.) to go with the name. Close the blinds and turn on the projector, here’s IMPERSONATOR:

It’s important to name things. My middle toes, my water bottle and all of my hypothetical tumors have names. I got to use my naming skills this week to name a real product for a real company. I’ll pose (nude) next to the product when it hits the Apple Store shelves. I think that’s what PR people mean by “changing the conversation.” We’ll find out.

Meanwhile, Fred was busy photographing our latest letterpress cards. If you like unicorns, (who doesn’t?) I have just the card for you. Also, if you like men carrying baby elephants or know someone that is grieving the loss of a cat, you will be satisfied.

ETC.

Snap, snap!! Take me to the shop!! 

People that talk about Top Secret Projects are usually insane. Anyway, I’m working on something BIG. This will change the way everyone does everything. Not really. I can’t really say much more EXCEPT it rhymes with slap AND it’ll be used on a communication device. But have I said too much??

 Here, just watch the video and forget everything I just told you:

Thank God for A&E’s latest voyeur-drama Hoarders. THANK GOD. Do these people not understand that those television cameras mean that they are going to be on television? Were they told that this would be the only way they could get help? Mary Lynn, this garbage can’t be shoveled out of the house unless we broadcast your story to millions of people. And Mary Lynn (who has been using adult diapers for two years because she can’t find her toilet) immediately gives in. I would, too.

So, in the spirit of Hoarders, I’m de-cluttering my computer. Why would I have eight copies of Michael Jackson’s Thriller?

Look at this old press release I found!:

Well, Susie hasn’t had her kittens yet – and like every other overdue/expecting mother – she is watching Oprah and eating tubs of Ben & Jerry’s.

Meanwhile, I biked through the Heat™

to bring Fred a card so he could photograph it. It isn’t any ordinary card – it is the card to introduce our new website.

Aren’t you intrigued?? It must say something sweet – just look at that cute little bellhop! I’ve been waiting to use him for a long time – thanks, cute little bellhop!