Hey, You Got Your Nature In My Peanut Butter - Franimals

Clip-clop-clip-clop… I watched her gracefully stroll down 28th Street. She, a 125 pound White Tailed Deer, came towards me on the sidewalk. Her head turned left and right, taking in the scenery like a tourist. I sat as still as a frightened rabbit, hoping she would mistake me for something non-threatening. The air was perfectly calm and the smoke from my cigarette rose straight into the sky. Oh, but she noticed me! We were locked in a staring contest for what felt like forever, and then she bounced away. Faster than I knew a deer could run, she bounded across Hennepin Avenue.And a bear wandered up to a strip mall last week in Cottage Grove. I felt it should be commemorated.

Three new rep groups this Spring.

THREE.

These new (lucky) states are: Virginia, West Virginia, Idaho, Montana, Alaska, and New Mexico. Each rep gets a box of goodies, packed by Jen:

I bet that’s a lot of work.

I wish I could help but I’m too busy watching Pam watch kittens on televison while I lay in bed.

I DID write/design some new cards — I’ve heard that laughing is as good for your body as eating so I plan to airdrop some new cards to the starving people in the world.

I’m sure they’ll be grateful. 

Has Science gone too far?

Days and nights blurred as the scientist toiled alone — well, not exactly alone — his companions (experiments) lived in a collection of cages. His laboratory (pronounced: lah-boooar-atory) was nestled between the Russkoe Slovo Bookshop and the hydro-electric plant in Krasnoyarsk. 

His mission?

To create super-species. Behold his first success… and his new friend:Well, congratulations Doctor Hvorostovsky!

And now on to my creations:

(not nearly as controversial)

Jen was part of a dangerous expedition

New product was added to the shop and I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:Or not?

She waited.

Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

But no!

And who but those onboard could know the truth — was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

Or was it The Kraken?

That’s the sound that March makes — that and a muffled sobbing. February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.

Here’s a story about March: One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree — so delightful! 

The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.

In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.

IN A PINCH.

By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.

The moral of the story is: Get a dog.

And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:

Look who I found in front of Zeichen Press HQ!

First the squirrels and then the bear AND NOW THIS?!

There IS a universal language on the World Wide Web and understanding it only requires the appreciation of three things:

1) Kittens

2) Wine

3) Talking dogs

Also, videos where guys get kicked in the nuts — but those existed before YouTube.

I follow the dog around the house with my iPhone and I plan on kicking a guy in the nuts this week.

My life is all kittens and wine, so I was able to create the following: 

Feel free to share that 1,000,000 times.

And here’s a new card: It’s a true story.

Ah, romance! One couple might choose dinner and a movie… Another couple might choose post-coital cannibalism.

Who’s the fairest one of all?

There is SO much happening around here! First, I had to bait a squirrel trapto catch the Kitchen-Squirrel. I was going to fill the trap with my kitchen garbage (her favorite) but I decided to go for something more bourgeois: Skippy Peanut Butter.

And then there was a serious decision to make: Which card would Paper Source like more?I hope we chose wisely because one of our lives (Jen’s) is on the line.

Oh, and I didn’t forget that it is Valentine’s Day today, I am very romantic. Here is proof: