Posts in Franimals

Now What?

published by Fran Shea

We find out on Friday if Martha is adopting us — I already packed my bags. I told Jen to pack hers but I don’t think she heard me as she was pealing out of the driveway with her windows rolled up. Oh, Jen!

We (Jen) started printing the new release today, and to celebrate, Millie left Jen a present right in front of Zeichen Press HQ.shop with words 2It only seemed appropriate that this card be printed first:dont step in the birthday present I made for you

The rest of the week (until the adoption), we (Jen) will be printing all of the new cards:once upon a time new momdaditudelisten up old manand good riddanceyou finished learningdamn. jesus punked us so goodPARTY ANIMALTHANKTH just remember.new ladies.2at leastyou are so gangster

Feeling the Love

published by Fran Shea

I barely wept with gratitude when I found out Minnesota Business Magazine wanted to write about Zeichen Press for Martha Stewart’s American Made competition… And when Minnesota Business Magazine writer, Erica Rivera, told me to hush my pretty mouth so she could interview me, I did hush my pretty mouth. I do as I’m told. I DO.

Anyway, Erica wrote this masterpiece:

And then I scooped the litter box.

AND here’s a page about litter boxes from my STILL UNSOLD book:*color.31.sick and tired

Mystery Solved!

published by Fran Shea

With the warm weather comes mating animals and flies covering the shop windows.flies on shop windowAnd nothing else. NOTHING ELSE.

One might ask, “I wonder why that window is so filthy?” And another might respond, “Shhh, just close your eyes while I slowly and firmly place this pillow over your face…”

There.

Now, onto the flies. I did all the research and learned that these are no ordinary flies. The internet told me that they are called Cluster Flies, so I vacuumed them up and made this card:Life is too short

Deadbeat Cat

published by Fran Shea

I think Tib The Cat is pregnant. I could have (should have?) put a stop to the coitus, but who am I to stand in the way of true love? WHO AM I? Wait, was that really true love??tib and billy zoom outHmm… Zoom… Enhance…tib and billyGOOD LORD.

Speaking of Father’s Day…listen up old manOh, and did this Father’s Day card ever make it on the blog? (Winky-face.)thanks for fertilizingPS: Apparently my SEO success could be better if I mention letterpress-related words IN my blog posts. Words like: tactile, vintage press, printing, ink, paper, mangled hand.

Sympathy/Empathy Cards

published by Fran Shea

(((flashback)))

My husband was on a business trip, and that meant it was time for one or more of the kids to get the stomach flu. Because we love tradition, the youngest barfed in her own bath water. While I was cleaning that up, and not to be outdone, the middle one inhaled and regurgitated his macaroni & cheese right back on the plate.

The older one slunk away.

While I was cleaning that up, and unbeknownst to me, the cat coughed up a slimy hair-ball. I stepped on it (barefoot).

While I stood on one foot, crying, the dog came over and licked it up.

The Endwalked-a-mile

Spring Cleansing and Fumigation

published by Fran Shea

I’ve heard that we are only prescribed challenges tailored to fit our deficiencies. I don’t really have any deficiencies so I’ve just been row-row-rowing my boat, gently down the stream.

But poor Jen spent the week hunting for bedbugs (that’s what she gets for going to Turkey) that turned out to be fleas. not-a-bedbug

It took six flea-bombs and one hijab to properly fumigate.jen-w-botox-and-hijab-new-henry-dunceDoesn’t Henry look ashamed?

Doesn’t Jen’s forehead look youthful?? I photoshop-botoxed it! AND saved her $200.

She’ll thank me later.

While she was busy meeting her prescribed challenge (I pray that she learned her lesson), *I* was busy nobly accepting rejections for The Book.sample-booksEight rejections so far… twelve still unresponsive. But don’t worry about me, I LOVE waiting, and see rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person.

SPEAKING OF MOTHER’S DAY, here’s a new card:dont-worry-mom