Blog - graduation card

Our 1983 Field Trip to the Art Institute ended tragically when some naughty eighth-grade boys smuggled in their skateboards and much to the museum docents dismay, rode them up and down the herringbone wood-floored hallways. These same boys also smoked cigarettes and at least one of them had a super-tall mohawk… Lucky for everyone, I looked like this:

My Mom threw caution to the wind and signed ANOTHER permission slip for me the very next year. This time it was to Como Zoo/Park. I made sure to pack my tunafish sandwich and wrap my Shasta in tinfoil just like my sister. It went off without a hitch. For me. One boy in our class was not so fortunate because he decided to avoid the gate and slipped while climbing over the pointy, cast-iron fence. His corduroy pants and bottom were never the same… He walked around holding his derriere and I was, of course, scandalized.

Speaking of school… I made some graduation cards:

And speaking of Field Trips… without permission slips (WHAT??), Lucy and I went to the Arboretum yesterday with Aunt Clare to see the Dahlias and have a picnic. (WITH NO SHASTA?!) Also, we saw Edward Scissorhands stumble out of this grapevine-creation:

And PER TRADITION, I made Jen a birthday card and PER TRADITION we avoided seeing each other. DON’T BE JEALOUS!! 

I know we made it through another winter because I can hear the toads mating and my neighbor snoring. City-life is so full of intrigue! Who knows, this hawk

could be guilty of butchering all those baby bunnies?? Why am I so quick to blame my domesticated house pets??

Anyway, it’s almost June and that reminds me that school is almost over. 🙂

Do you need to sell something? You do??

PUT A CAT ON IT.That sweatshirt is not to be worn ironically and can be yours for a mere $65.

But really, it’s not even realistic. What sort of galaxy is full of white kittens and multi-colored roses??

And where’s the wine and unicorn??

All of those adorable kittens in space DID inspire a graduation card. Don’t ask me why. DON’T ASK ME.

Kids (like mine) graduated last week,houses were open, cards (stuffed with money) were given… And I realized, THESE KIDS NEED THANK YOU CARDS.

And always the giver, I made this:I forced my son to read this handy blog post about proper thank you note writing.

You’re welcome.

Is Spring really here?

Not sure…

Let’s pretend it is. Let’s let me live in a world filled with hope! My obsessive weather-tracking (hourly checking my weather app) has proven to be successful.

It won’t be long before smartwool socks are shed and (my) legs are shorn.

Stay tuned…

Here are a couple cards I made instead of penning a suicide note.

(Graduation)(Encouragement)

In the Spring of 1990, I packed up a carton of cigarettes, a skillet, 4 forks, a sketch pad, and some Mexican jumping beans. Graduating high school means moving into a dormitory on the campus of the college of your dreams. OR moving into an apartment above a pizza place.

EITHER WAY, this card seems appropriate:SPEAKING OF APPROPRIATE, is gluten-intolerance funny?

Bears have it best — fattening up and slipping into their Wintertime coma. I sit here, like a fool, planning my Wintertime Wardrobe — if I never had to shower, I would wear my neck to ankle long-underwear uninterrupted.

I have Faith that Winter will eventually turn to Spring.

In Spring, I will tear off my layers of long-underwear. I will bury my Smartwool in the backyard. I will shun my calf-length coat like an old boyfriend. (I can’t believe I was with YOU!!)

In Spring, kids graduate from educational institutions. And because I am a Giver, I give you these: New graduation cards. Don’t be like, “Why are you thinking about graduation in October?”

Just accept the greeting card calendar. ACCEPT IT.

I know that Native Americans can anticipate the change of seasons by paying close attention to the subtle signs in nature. I’ve been doing that too. 

Sign number one was seeing a rat splattered on the street in front of my house. When the rats crawl out of the sewers it means we are in for a serious drought. Or that I need to move.

Sign number two was seeing a man peeing on the side of my garage. When a man pees on the side of your garage it means that I need to move.

Okay, the school year is fizzling out like a dud of a firecracker and that’s good because I’ve seen those mangled hands and it is difficult to fill in those little SAT bubbles with a nub-hand.

Once Upon A Time, I made the difficult transition from Catholic Grade School to Catholic High School — this meant going from blue and green plaid skirts to brown and gray plaid skirts. THIS meant that I had to inch my way up the school’s flagpole and fly my skirt like a flag.

Just like Hayley Mills (in The Trouble With Angels!) sans cigarette.

It’s not too late to send your favorite graduate from the Class of 2012 a Zeichen Press card stuffed with money!  (You’re welcome, graduates.)