Blog - cottage industry

While filling out the application for a small business grant from Chase and Living Social, something occurred to me:

Zeichen Press Headquarters is located exactly behind my house in a building some might call a “garage.” There. I’ve said it. I feel so much better. 

It is 360 square feet of letterpress goodness. It is 10 tons of letterpress finery. BUT, IF we got that grant (would it be in the form of a giant, novelty cheque? I will accept nothing less.) we could expand … We could punch another hole in the leather belt of our business! We’d be that much closer to World Dominance.

We are in over 500 shops around the world. We have dozens of reps. We have distributors in New Zealand, Australia, and the United Kingdom. BUT, what if we were able to operate from a larger venue? … What if we could hire a big, hairy man to operate our presses?

Step 1) Go to missionsmallbusiness.com and click ‘Log In & Support’ and log in using Facebook.

Step 2) Type “Zeichen Press” in the search field.

Step 3) Click on the blue Vote button next to our business name.

Step 4) Weep, openly.

We need 250 votes (what?! That’s all??) to be CONSIDERED for the grant. How much is the grant?

$250,000.

Or whatever.

NO BIG DEAL.

Please vote — I’ve been starving myself so I would take up less space in the shop. I’m so hungry.

There once was a Frenchman that could, and would, eat large objects. He ate them bit by bit and was able to digest bicycles, televisions, shopping carts, chandeliers, and even an airplane. This took patience and, reportedly, gallons of mineral oil.

Bit by bit.

This wasn’t some sort of performance art piece — he never meant for it to be a metaphor.

But he ate a plane.

Such deliberateness! I like to imagine that he carefully considered each piece as he pried it off and swallowed it.

Mister Eat All The Things (Monsieur Mangetout) could be an inspiring mascot for an economic philosophy.

I’ve been told that a printing press in the shop is just as good as three acres and a cow. We’ll see. WE’LL SEE.

Anyway, I made this card for the president of The Society of Distributism because he has a fancy book signing coming up — 150 lucky people will receive the card. Oh, and a signed book.