Blog - World Dominance

I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and not Santa Claus) who put our presents under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.

I got a globe.But I barely remember that! I barely remember crying and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the Lord’s day, not mine!

Merry Christmastime, everyone!

If only they would stop their playing and look over at me… Why is MY friend even playing with my stupid brother???… Maybe if I wave my arms and jump higher on this strangely super-tall bed in our basement… No, that didn’t work… Hold on… I’ll just climb down and drag over that chalkboard to lay flat on the floor because it looks more like water than the off-brown linoleum… Perfect… Now, I’ll roll over the large black, rubber inner-tube we float on at the lake… Just plop it right on top of the chalkboard… Looking good… Ok… NOW, I’ll climb back up on the bed and jump some more…

“LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

I hysterically scream, while diving face-first into the center of the inner-tube.So much blood. So many tears. And my friend was sent home??? WHY MOM, WHY?!

Feeling pretty fancy over here because The Washington Post picked up the Religion News Service article! (Is that how it works?? See? TOO fancy for me!)

But, obviously, not as fancy as Dinah.

Thank you, Religion News Service, for appreciating the ho-ho-Holiday-humdrum-hole-filling.  And thank you, Dinah the Cat, for understanding the true meaning of Christmas.And you’re right, you should be in the new Christmas card.

Oh, No Coast Craft-o-Rama… You never let us down! The Midtown Market’s halls were decked and bedazzled with all things Holiday… And handmade goodness was traded for cold-hard-cash.

The Zeichen Press Empire is always draped in black fabric because black is slimming.

Here’s a new Christmas card/fantasy?:

The No Coast Craft-O-Rama is TODAY and tomorrow (December 4th and 5th) and Jen has been feverishly printing in preparation.

She must have been too busy to notice my new woodpile!Come see all of the Holiday Goodies at the Midtown Global Market today — Jen will be giving out free hugs with every purchase!

Once Upon A Time, my sister got the stomach flu so bad. Poor thing… up in the middle of the night… every bit of food evacuating her body post-haste. Who knew the colon could churn and transform loose stool into clear liquid? Well, my brother found out when he sleep-stumbled into the bathroom and slipped and skated on the translucent trots that never made it into the toilet-bowl.

See? Analogy. Our gratitude just pours out of us! It’s almost like a medical condition.

To “give back”, we are hosting Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade!

Tune in!

**An Open Letter to Alexis Stewart:

Dear Alexis Stewart,

If you want to be friends with me, just ask. You don’t need to buy all of your Christmas and birthday AND Mother’s Day cards from me.

Friends Forever,

Fran

—

Whew! I’m glad I got that out of the way! Thanks to Mail Chimp, our email-blast campaign was full of success.

Wanna know what Mother’s Day card Martha Stewart is getting in 2016???

I’LL NEVER TELL!!!

Does my IQ have to be higher to understand Sci-Fi films??  As the credits rolled for Interstellar, I whispered, to myself, “whaaat???” Maybe I should have taken 100 classes to prep me? All of that technlogy and time-talk made me wish I was working on the new Zeichen Press catalog that Jen so agressively marked-up.I’LL GET TO IT. As soon as I finish rewatching Mad Men.

And while I’m (not) doing that, The Internis gallivanting about in Italy like some sort of hippie. Well, let’s just see if you have a studio to come home to. (OMG, I’M KIDDING. Please come home. And bring us souvenirs.)

Dinah always makes such a big deal about choosing paper and envelope color for a new release.

First, she has Jen print a card:

And then she does this:

She is such a taskmaster.