Blog - True Story

And maybe a pregnant cat.

Don’t say anything. JUST DON’T. Tib might have snuck out the window like some sort of wild teenager. We’ll know as soon as we catch her in the kitchen with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.

In other (less controversial) news from the Zeichen Press Headquarters: The new cards are all printed and in the shop! Wanna see?

Life is like the murky end of our lake and you’ll have to dump in a 10 lb. bag of Aquacide Pellets if your mom isn’t there to rake the weeds away.

What is she talking about?

Don’t act like you don’t know.

Do you need a Congratulations-ish card?

You do?!

We find out on Friday if Martha is adopting us — I already packed my bags. I told Jen to pack hers but I don’t think she heard me as she was pealing out of the driveway with her windows rolled up. Oh, Jen!

We (Jen) started printing the new release today, and to celebrate, Millie left Jen a present right in front of Zeichen Press HQ.It only seemed appropriate that this card be printed first:

The rest of the week (until the adoption), we (Jen) will be printing all of the new cards:

I barely wept with gratitude when I found out Minnesota Business Magazine wanted to write about Zeichen Press for Martha Stewart’s American Made competition… And when Minnesota Business Magazine writer, Erica Rivera, told me to hush my pretty mouth so she could interview me, I did hush my pretty mouth. I do as I’m told. I DO.

Anyway, Erica wrote this masterpiece:

And then I scooped the litter box.

AND here’s a page about litter boxes from my STILL UNSOLD book:

Running for student council vice president of my Freshman class was so stressful! Our platform was twofold:

1) Instruct — and therefore unify — our class via a comprehensive Class Cheer: “Nine-tee! Nine-tee! Ninetyninetyninety nine-tee!!! YAYYYY!!”

2) Oh, I guess it was only a onefold platform…

NEEDLESS TO SAY, votes were cast, and I won. It was a real nail-biter.

SPEAKING OF VOTING, you can finally start voting for Zeichen Press here!

And you can (and should!!) vote 6x per day! SIX TIMES. PER DAY.

Yikes! That sounds scary!

Lungs are not supposed to collapse, but that’s what makes life so exciting! Sunday mornings could be all jejune French toast and bacon, OR they could be all ambulance and emergency surgery.(I was just as stoic as the woman in the above illustration while they performed my surgery. Eyes wide open, no tears.)

Life is so full of twists and turns!

There is nothing like having your very own chest tube — my aunt said it was my friend. And indeed it was! My little friend with a one-way valve who caused me nothing but suffering. After just two days, the doctor pulled my friend out of my chest — and again, like the woman in the illustration: I was stoic, with eyes wide open and no tears.

I’ll write a card about this as soon as my painkillers wear off.

Merry Jenmas, everyone!

MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents for Jen on my living room floor last night? Oh, Millie…

Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.

I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!How could I have been so blind for so long?!

No matter. Here’s a card.

When my daughter was small (until she became a giant),she wrestled daily with Jungian archetypes… She was fascinated by the Actor/Storyteller… and the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf was a favorite.

Oh, that Boy!! She was disgusted and fascinated!

Ahh, there is nothing like a Midsummer Night’s Homebirth!

Oh, and here’s a card. I’VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY??