Blog - Tortured Soul

Like a chicken, I am cooped up in my house… Day after day after day, longing to be free-range. I busy myself with cat photographyand new designs for RSVP. Which will be chosen for Valentine’s Day 2017?? Stay tuned…

Nothing could come between a girl and her Etch A Sketch in 1981.NOTHING.

Just look at that tight-lipped concentration… LOOK AT IT.Maybe I was creating a message for my mom? Or a beautiful design? Or a note to my brother begging him to stop slowly poisoning my parakeet and calling me Oot Head.

WHO KNOWS?

My Etch A Sketch has been replaced with 10,000 pounds of letterpress equipment, a laptop, and Jen. (Sorry, Jen.)

Here’s a new Valentine’s Day card… Lead type and an antique cut can barely compare to the magic of my childhood.

Oh, wouldn’t I look smart in my new floral, lightly quilted, Guinnea Sax dress and ivory blouse! The thin silk ribbon under my collar tied so prettily… Real leather open-toe sandals with cuffed socks actually MATCH MY BLOUSE… Eleven years old and I just knew I already had the world by the shanks. THE SHANKS. 

First Picture Day at my new school was going to change everything! Sure, I spend nights in bed carefully drawing miniature Black Stallions in the margin of my diary. And sure, I rarely brushed my stick-straight blonde, center-parted, mom-cut hair. But I was pretty sure I looked like Sissy Spacek, circa 1973.With backpack securely fastened over both shoulders, I proudly marched through the alley-entrance onto the school playground/parking lot.

WHAT’S THIS?! The girls/my classmates are wearing Guess Jeans and white t-shirts!My heart sank.

And they burst out laughing at the very site of me!HOW COULD THEY?! THE AGONY! Thank God my call home from the nurses office only resulted in my mom coaxing me to stay at school long enough to have my picture taken, otherwise there wouldn’t be this evidence. THANK GOD.

~Dedicated to the cool kids~…And someday I’d enact my telekinetic revenge… 

Discovering Instacart might change my life.These modern services enable my dwindling desire to engage with the outside world.

IN JANUARY. IN MINNESOTA.

And why should I leave my house when Millie the Dog is learning to speak Human?

If only the shop were actually connected to my house.Just look at that commute! Ridiculous.

Or… inspiring? It must be inspiring because I made this.

I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and not Santa Claus) who put our presents under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.

I got a globe.But I barely remember that! I barely remember crying and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the Lord’s day, not mine!

Merry Christmastime, everyone!

If only they would stop their playing and look over at me… Why is MY friend even playing with my stupid brother???… Maybe if I wave my arms and jump higher on this strangely super-tall bed in our basement… No, that didn’t work… Hold on… I’ll just climb down and drag over that chalkboard to lay flat on the floor because it looks more like water than the off-brown linoleum… Perfect… Now, I’ll roll over the large black, rubber inner-tube we float on at the lake… Just plop it right on top of the chalkboard… Looking good… Ok… NOW, I’ll climb back up on the bed and jump some more…

“LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

I hysterically scream, while diving face-first into the center of the inner-tube.So much blood. So many tears. And my friend was sent home??? WHY MOM, WHY?!

…El Niño. I know I’m supposed to be cursing Climate Change… I KNOW.

But how can I curse when meteorologists are predicting a warmer-than-usual winter??

I must embrace the phenomenon the way a mother embraces her wayward son.

IN OTHER NEWS, Jen and I chose 12 cards for the next release using darts, a cardboard cutout of Steve Buscemi, and our first-aid kit.

Here’s a teaser:And because I always plan ahead, here’s a new Father’s Day card:

I’m not sure if he was gently curb-stomped, or he bit into a fresh apple. Either way, he lost his front teeth.

Does Jen hate letterpress printing SO much that I have to create and license all of the art and farm it off to art licensing companies??

Maybe.

The latest for RSVP:I know one thing for sure. ONE THING. Jen would really hate to print these multi-colored designs. She makes me live in a monochromatic world. But see how I defy?? FIVE colors??

FIVE.

And now they want more cards! FINE.I’m such a rebel.

Don’t tell Blockbuster Video, but I still have a VHS copy of Alive in my attic. I just love survival dramas. *I* survived the heat last week, it was pretty dramatic… But I ate no one, despite feeling very hungry. To celebrate, the Intern and I set some type.AND THEN I wrote/designed more cards for RSVP, deadline is TOMORROW. No big deal. Chosen card(s) just go into the Major Supermarkets.