Blog - Marketing

Two important things happened this week:

1) It was so cold that I never left the house.IT FELT LIKE -49°.

OKAY, cover your ears: THAT’S BULLSHIT.

All I could possibly do is sit in front of the fire with my companion, Tib The Cat.Oh, yeah, and here’s number

2) I GOT A LITERARY AGENT.

You heard me.

The Steinberg Agency — they rep people like Tim Gunn and Cris Carter. NO BIG DEAL.

They want a 40-page picture book for adults…

*I* like pictures.

I can make that book.

Here’s a teaser/the cover OF MY BOOK.

When Minnesota Monthly added Zeichen Press to their Best of the Twin Cities list, Jen and I finally polished our tiaras.And had our likenesses sculpted out of butter.

Delicious.

PHEW!

My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought a tripod from a stranger on Craiglist and he made no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.

For Immediate Release: In an attempt to build the Zeichen Press Fan Base, Jen Shea and Fran Shea will appear on a local cable-access show locked in a cell and covered in Fancy Feast™. 1,000 cats will be released into the cell through a small hatch. Fran and Jen will sing a medley of famous duets, including Islands In the Stream, Endless Love, and You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.

###

Hello.

My name is Pevenshire Wiffynuts and I’m here today to talk about targeting your demographic. Whether you are marketing adult diapers, cowboy hats, or cemetery plots, it is critical that you understand your audience. That may mean that you have to poop in your pants, herd cows, or bury a loved one.

Don’t be afraid to do these things — they will help you effectively move product and change lives. 

Wow! Thanks, Pevenshire.

I hear what you’re saying — I ripped off my mom-mask to reveal the face of an eight-year-old-boy so I could create this birthday card:

Times were simple then — pre-Facebook… cats fixed… no Dance Moms…

The air was thick with anticipation — it wasn’t fair to keep Zeichen Press hidden from the public.It was time to pry open the (heirloom-quality) tupperware lid. Time to expose the rotting and pungent living carcass to the unblinking eye of its critics.

The Universe demanded documentation. Who am I to refuse?

That was four years ago (today).Now, readership of the Zeichen Press blog hovers somewhere between cable-access viewership and meaningful Craigslist encounters.

Cheers!

While filling out the application for a small business grant from Chase and Living Social, something occurred to me:

Zeichen Press Headquarters is located exactly behind my house in a building some might call a “garage.” There. I’ve said it. I feel so much better. 

It is 360 square feet of letterpress goodness. It is 10 tons of letterpress finery. BUT, IF we got that grant (would it be in the form of a giant, novelty cheque? I will accept nothing less.) we could expand … We could punch another hole in the leather belt of our business! We’d be that much closer to World Dominance.

We are in over 500 shops around the world. We have dozens of reps. We have distributors in New Zealand, Australia, and the United Kingdom. BUT, what if we were able to operate from a larger venue? … What if we could hire a big, hairy man to operate our presses?

Step 1) Go to missionsmallbusiness.com and click ‘Log In & Support’ and log in using Facebook.

Step 2) Type “Zeichen Press” in the search field.

Step 3) Click on the blue Vote button next to our business name.

Step 4) Weep, openly.

We need 250 votes (what?! That’s all??) to be CONSIDERED for the grant. How much is the grant?

$250,000.

Or whatever.

NO BIG DEAL.

Please vote — I’ve been starving myself so I would take up less space in the shop. I’m so hungry.

I’m over here! No… HERE! The one waving her arms and jumping up and down! …The one wearing the poncho and helmet! 

She must not see me.

She did mention Zeichen Press on her blog. And she did buy cards from our online shop. I thought that meant she wanted to hang out and talk about black bean chili with butternut squash and swiss chard?

You can totally call me, Alexis!

The Epilepsy Foundation needed a new look for their fleet of trucks and The Carney Group contacted me (via telepathy) to see if my brain was available to think of ideas. I’m not just a brain. Geez.

I rescheduled my ice-pick lobotomy and put on my thinking cap.

What if the trucks were bright red and had big white letters with a line like, THIS TRUCK CONTAINS TWO TONS OF HOPE??

Yes?

Okay.

The New York International Gift Fair (NYIGF) wrapped up (sans blizzard). I wasn’t there (I never am) but it must have been a huge success because our rep is faxing orders to us

faster than we can pull them.

Fax machines work just like Wonkavision and every day I hope to find a chocolate bar instead of an order. But for now, I must be satisfied with ink on paper.