December 22, 2014

I designed the Tanek website some dog years ago -- it's time for something fresh and tasty.

Landing page = done.

More to come...

December 12, 2014

My agent wants a second book, he assures me that he'll sell this one. He better, because I bought a $95 rug from Target. We're not all fancy New Yorkers, Peter. WE'RE NOT.

So, it looks like this Winter will look just like last Winter... Except, I had the kids drag the trunk down from the attic for a coffee table.

Oh, the cats? Never mind those. This place is crawling with them.

Fine, here's this year's Christmas tree. 

December 4, 2014

Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping?? 


Shut your mouth.

Let me be more specific. LET ME.

Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping for amazing hand-made gifts while laughing with friends and/or family, eating ethnically diverse foods, AND SEE FRAN AND JEN??


Omg... that's TOMORROW! Oh, THAT'S what Jen has been talking about! And THAT'S what these boxes are for!


See you there!



November 27, 2014

Much to be thankful for this year... Jen and I have FOUR working lungs, DreamWorks Studios loves us, AND (fingers crossed) Tib is pregnant again. 

November 25, 2014

Last night, I dreamt I took a day trip to Manitoba. Just an afternoon of pool-swimming at an area motel. I came home and bragged to everyone, "I went to Manitohhhba today."

Two observations:

1) No wall-less public toilet in this dream?? That's right. Who's in charge now, Dreams??

2) My dreams have finally taken me to Canada...

AND ANOTHER THING: Winter came completely out of nowhere this year. One week it was 71°, and the next week, I had to break out the Smartwool. "Oh, Minnesota! You are so crazy! Potholes and moquitoes and icehouses!"

Shut up.

November 18, 2014

Our four desks were pushed together for a Thanksgiving art project; we wrapped bits of Autumn-colored tissue paper around the end of No. 2 pencils, carefully dipped the wrapped end into the puddle of Elmer's Glue squirted onto a scrap of construction paper, and placed the florette onto the the inside of the outline of a turkey. 1...2...3... Ten seconds for each one to dry and the process to start all over again.

What a perfect time for my 4th grade teacher to join us!

Conversation was breezy but quickly turned to talk of Christmas presents... Boy Student, "Can you believe that I believed in Santa Clause until I was in SECOND GRADE!" Laughter from the table... Laughter fades... MY TEACHER confides in the little group, "You guys, don't laugh — I believed in Santa Clause until I was in FOURTH GRADE!"

Hmm, *I* believed in Santa Clause until that very moment. :( <--Frowny Face


Fast forward 33 years, DreamWorks Studios

just ordered 400 of THIS card.

Sooo, there's that or whatever.


November 11, 2014


Just imagine this:

in a Witch or Hobo costume, "Trick or Treat!"

I was never Wrapped in Bacon like these fancy L.A. kids... Our L.A. rep sent us this:

I'm assuming this little person was Trick-or-Treating... But I see no treat bag, nor do I see a 3-ring binder, NOR DO I SEE the latest issue of The Watchtower.

True story: Since I put my NO SOLICITORS card on the front door, I have had, exactly, zero solicitors. Buy yours today!

November 5, 2014

And maybe a pregnant cat.

Don't say anything. JUST DON'T. Tib might have snuck out the window like some sort of wild teenager. We'll know as soon as we catch her in the kitchen with a tub of Ben & Jerry's.

In other (less controversial) news from the Zeichen Press Headquarters: The new cards are all printed and in the shop! Wanna see?