February 27, 2015
zeichenpress

As I said goodbye to yet another kitten from our cat ranch,

I thought to myself, "I bet this is exactly how Beyoncé feels when she drops an album." And then I thought, "My skin is so dry."

I wish I could travel back in time... back to the 1970's when there were environmental chambers built into the walls of health club locker rooms... (I think this is a real memory and that I'm not just pasting a false memory on top of a traumatic childhood locker room incident... those topless moms blow-drying their hair... Wait, am I?? Omg... Beep beep boop: Tropical Rainforest?? Yes, please!)

NO MATTER, here's a new card!

 

February 20, 2015
zeichenpress

Some things are predictable - and thank goodness! It's important to have things to count on... runny noses in February, militant-radical beheadings, and birthdays.

The kittens just stole the strand of toilet paper that I was using to wipe my runny nose, ISIS militants cover their faces in black balaclavas, and I write birthday cards.

OH, LIFE.

February 15, 2015
zeichenpress

My grandpa's battleship was bombed and he had to tread water for 13 hours WHILE he kept his unconscious buddy afloat. That was just like the time in 2009 that I swam out to meet the seal.

SPEAKING OF TREADING WATER.

It's mid-February in Minnesota.

February 6, 2015
zeichenpress

When Pam (our New England rep) calls me, I have to think for a second... Is this Classic Pam the Cat calling me from beyond the grave? 

But no, that would be silly! Classic Pam is too busy.

Pam spent last week at the Javits center in New York, I think because she loves us. 

We love you too, Pam.

She is faxing orders over willy-nilly and I am busily taking pictures of kittens. 

(She'll thank me later.)

January 29, 2015
zeichenpress

Spruce & Gussy -> 12 Mount Desert St. Bar Harbor, Maine

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

Alright, put on your mukluks, shove a wedge of chewing tobacky between your cheek and gum, and head Northeast. 
**Weather Update: New England was CRIPPLED by, like, three feet of snow the other day. BUT BAR HARBOR DON'T CARE. They took it like a man. A man who is not wearing his orange jumpsuit.
WHAT?!
When (not IF) I get to Bar Harbor, I will make but one stop: Spruce & Gussy.
Shopping for all of my small-box items will be dreamy...
Look for me, Michelle & Patti.
Look for me and my new friend, Bob Ross.
January 20, 2015
zeichenpress

This time, I'm two-timing Zeichen Press with The Book.

(Remember when I two-timed Zeichen Press with Tanek, and I made those paper dolls??)

OMG, good times!

Now I'm spending my waking hours wrangling kittens

and working on the book. Here's a teaser:

PUT YOUR GLASSES ON.

Still blurry?? Wink.

 

January 11, 2015
zeichenpress

I shed my layers this week and exposed my sun damaged, yet somehow pale, flesh to anyone unfortunate enough to glance over at me.

Sun was absorbed, golf carts were driven, and books were begun.

THAT'S RIGHT.

Golf carts were driven.

 

 

January 6, 2015
zeichenpress

There were TWO mysteries at Zeichen Press HQ this week. I prayed and prayed to Benedict Cumberbatch,

and my prayers were sort of answered, because Jen came to search/tear the house apart.

FIRST, one of the five kittens was missing.

Tib had means AND motive. She was questioned and released.

Poor Tib... We accused her of eating her weakest kitten. (True story.)

The kitten was later found, unharmed. 

Sorry Tib.

But what was the second mystery, Fran??

HUSH, it will be explained in my Tell-All book, coming soon!