Blog - Zeichen Press

Nothing says, “welcome to the neighborhood!” like a tricorne hat and a missing limb. According to REAL SIMPLE Magazine, this card:

is the perfect way to welcome the new kids to the block. I don’t care if they meant to use this card:

I’d rather live in a neighborhood full of limbless, historical reenactors.

And yet, they keep applying.

They have no skills and they’re not even helpful.

They actually make more work for me plus I don’t even know whose idea it was to let Susie get pregnant again.

The only break I get from this mayhem is when I lock myself in the bathroom to cry. (Once a day.)

But I must carry on.

SO, Fred photographed the new cards and I added them to the shop – here’s a sample:

Give this card to someone with a flying phobia, they will think you’re really funny.

The big UK order is just about ready to ship:

Will they think Zeichen Press cards are funny?? Will they appreciate the folksy, Midwestern humor?? I did my research

and I think we could use some more spankings and boobs. But who couldn’t?

I didn’t even ask Jen how she got all these boxes for New Zealand

to the post office. Maybe Henry the Dog helped her. Or Loretta, she’s pretty strong. I couldn’t help anyway because I was busy taking a sponge bath. Andrea says sponge baths are for 80-year-olds but I’d like to see an 80-year-old get into my kitchen sink.

No, I wouldn’t. 

The hot-water-heater decided it was time to rust through and I don’t blame it a bit. It really is the most boring household appliance. If it were a person, I’d hate it.

So, I boiled some water on the stove for my bath and as I squatted in it, I thought to myself, “I wish I had curtains on my windows.” and “Is this funny or sad?” I decided it was funny but only because the new hot-water-heater is coming on Monday.

Last night was our first monthly (WHAT? Didn’t I tell you guys that??) card folding party. Jen was noticeably absent. She was invited, she told me she doesn’t mix business and pleasure. Or maybe she said she tries not to see me more than she has to.

Either way, she wasn’t there.

Wine was drunk and 1,000 cards were folded:

You can be a part of the magic! Send me an email – if you own a spoon, have two hands, and aren’t planning to kill me – you can join us!

March means the party is over and Winter is the (very) drunk guest that won’t take a hint. Um, Winter, can’t you see that I’ve thrown the bottles out the back door and had the dog clean the floor?

That’s alright. I’ve called it a cab, it will be here in a few weeks.

Meanwhile, here’s a new card:

Oh, Winter! You blustery old fool – you are the antagonist of the seasons. And as I am the protagonist in my own story, I gladly throw my fleece-lined hat in the ring. It is February and that means Triumph is within my grasp. I can smell it like a plate of clam fries. Mmm, clam fries… Once Upon A Time, I found myself sitting in front of an abandoned plate of clam fries. They were left by an angel disguised as a drunk couple. God is so mysterious!

Here is a new card, inspired by the soft blanket of snow that covers this land:

The Big No-Coast show is only 5 days away.To prepare ourselves, Jen and I are watching hour after hour of training videos. We have found that the only way we can really get into the spirit of a craft show is with a Dolly Parton soundtrack. But I’m sure that’s true for everyone.

That’s what Lucy said in her sleep last night. I thought Millie the Dog said it but I was wrong. It was (disappointingly) just Lucy.

I couldn’t sleep and made this:

We gave Tanek two concepts and one was met with nervous laughter. Why is that such a familiar reaction? Here’s the rejected concept: