Posts in letterpress blog

Easily Distracted In Class

published by Fran Shea

I think that box was checked on my elementary school progress reports… But who could be bothered with such details??

Not me. NOT ME. And that’s why I secured a blank progress report, checked the best boxes, and brought it to my parents.

See? I wasn’t that easily distracted.


I am busy taking photographs of the new cardswater-vodka-2but not too busy to document some pretty fascinating activity:

Aren’t you glad you watched that??

I know I’m supposed to be doing something… Oh, that’s right, putting hungry vegetables on a

It’ll come to me after I stare out the window and pet that cat.


published by Fran Shea

His conscience was clear and his heart light amidst all his troubles; so he went peaceably to bed, left all his cares to Heaven, and soon fell asleep. In the morning after he had said his prayers, he sat himself down to his work; when, to his great wonder, there stood the shoes all ready made, upon the table.elvesshoemaker-crane1886Elves! 

(Sorry about the spoiler if you haven’t read that Fairy Tale.)

I went to a neurologist and he discovered elves in my occipital lobe and that explains everything!brain-with-elves-grabEvery night, I go peaceably to bed, leave all my cares to Heaven, and soon fall asleep — but not before I aggressively ruminate on an idea for a new card. While I sleep, the elves get to work and when I wake up, the new card is done!

Thank the elves for this new card:that-was-the-best-nap-everTHANK THEM.

Ode To My TV (and more)

published by Fran Shea

In the spirit of AMC’s award winning dramas, Mad Men and Breaking Bad, comes something written by the devil himself.pencil-pusher

With a script scrawled on toilet paper, using a fountain pen filled with raw sewage, Pencil Pusher weaves a tale so dark, so depressing, viewers are advised to swallow two Xanax before viewing.

Meet Ernie Frost: One cog in a massive corporate wheel, one man in one cubicle surrounded by countless other cubicles… Floor upon floor of fabric-covered partitions spread like open prairie.

Deadly open prairie…

Gone are the days of positive incentives and opening the kimono, these are days of the Corporate Gulag.

But Ernie Frost has a plan to end the nightmare…


Phew! Now I won’t have to throw a brick at my t.v. after the last episode of Breaking Bad.when-i-grow-up

Why I’m Such A Catch

published by Fran Shea

Foraging for low-tide treasure is my third favorite thing to do.

But what are your top two favorite things to do?

Nerf Ping Pong

nerf ping pong

and smashing piñatas.

What about your top TEN?

Glad you asked.

Cat midwifery,

cracking glow sticks, raising tadpoles, Belgian beer, letterpress printing, Breaking Bad,breaking badand yoga (just kidding). Number ten is turtle-hunting.

I know what you’re thinking.

What a lady!

Whoa. WHOA. Hands off the merchandise.

Remember when I was talking about low-tide?

Here’s a card that features one of my favorite low-tide critters.nice houseWouldn’t you love to get this card with a nice bottle of wine??

And by “you”, I mean “I”.

A Dream, Realized AND So Much More

published by Fran Shea

Everyone knows that St. Helena has The Best Fall Festival, this side of the Mississippi.

I did hear that Nativity in St. Paul has a snake pit and a freak-show…

But Saint Helena has rides and games and prizes — prizes like t-shirts that Jen and I made for the Duck Shoot!lucky ducky pinkand redYeehaw!!

Give a kid a cork gun, step back (STEP BACK), and watch the magic!duck shootJen is DUCKing.

Summit of Greeting Cards

published by Fran Shea

After spending $80,000 on climbing gear and an entourage of Sherpas in Nepal,

Shriya Shah-Klorfine (foreground), of Toronto, is shown at the summit of Mount Everest. The body of the Canadian woman who died while returning from the summit of Mount Everest is one step closer to being evacuated from the mountain. THE CANADIAN PRESS/ho-Utmost Adventure Trekking Pvt. Ltd.
the Canadian woman reached the Summit of Mount Everest.

I’m sure it was glorious.

The relief, the pride, the joy!

BUT, she forgot one teeny-tiny thing: enough oxygen for her descent. With temperatures hovering around -30° and an altitude of 22,000 ft., she laid her body down on the side of the mountain. 

And died.


Never trust a Sherpa.

Zeichen Press reached a summit too! We’ve been climbing Mount Greeting Card for a looong time and we finally reached the tippity-top: Urban Outfitters.

…But now I’ll have to set a new goal… Suggestions?

Urban Outfitters bought this card — but just to be fancy, it will be printed with a bright blue ink:LetsDoThisLet’s do this, indeed.

Please Like This

published by Fran Shea

It’s time to free ourselves from the shackles of this social networking monster.

We are ignorant prisoners, dragging our metal cups across the bars while our warden stuffs his fat face with naturally-cased wieners.

We are school children, wandering like Wii avatars, waiting for the bell to ring only to be called in to diagram sentences.wii avatars

We are the Israelites crushed by our taskmasters, waiting for the supernatural smiting of the Egyptians.

Rise up, people. Stop rowing the slave ship. The candy tasted so good before we got in the van, but now we must be deprogrammed. Make no mistake about it — this is some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. Oh, the candy… so sweet, so forbidden, so Turkish-Delighty.

Damn you, Facebook!

I’ve flushed my precious time down the toilet. Time I’ll never get back. Just like the year I got hooked on Party of Five – those orphaned Salingers led by their gorgeous brother/carpenter, Matthew Fox…

Oh, but it’s done now. No point in looking back. Friend requests, status updates, profile pictures — word combinations unwittingly added to the English lexicon!

I’ve got a word for you: insidious.

Never has there been such a tool, such a divisive tool. It wears a party hat and mixes the strongest drinks, watching the party-goers behave like jackasses. Why?

Ask son-of-a-dentist/billionaire, Mark Zuckerberg. Mr. Zuckerberg was unavailable for comment during the writing of this, and it’s no wonder. He’s in Palo Alto, counting his drug money. I’m booking a flight to Palo Alto and am either going to personally punch him in the face or flatter him until he hires me as his “personal secretary.” The second scenario is obviously more lucrative. The point is, I will no longer be in this creepy symbiotic relationship.

I will be free. (cue the MLK footage)wasnt affirmed on facebook