Countdown or Tally

published by Fran Shea

Is Spring really here?

Not sure…

Let’s pretend it is. Let’s let me live in a world filled with hope! My obsessive weather-tracking (hourly checking my weather app) has proven to be successful.

It won’t be long before smartwool socks are shed and (my) legs are shorn.

Stay tuned…

Here are a couple cards I made instead of penning a suicide note.

(Graduation)you mathed so hard(Encouragement)shit creek grab

Same (expletive), Same Day

published by Fran Shea

As I said goodbye to yet another kitten from our cat ranch,all kittens and dinah white chairI thought to myself, “I bet this is exactly how Beyoncé feels when she drops an album.” And then I thought, “My skin is so dry.”

I wish I could travel back in time… back to the 1970’s when there were environmental chambers built into the walls of health club locker rooms… (I think this is a real memory and that I’m not just pasting a false memory on top of a traumatic childhood locker room incident… those topless moms blow-drying their hair… Wait, am I?? Omg… Beep beep boop: Tropical Rainforest?? Yes, please!)

NO MATTER, here’s a new card!NOW the party can start

No Surprise!

published by Fran Shea

Some things are predictable – and thank goodness! It’s important to have things to count on… runny noses in February, militant-radical beheadings, and birthdays.birthday tickles revisedThe kittens just stole the strand of toilet paper that I was using to wipe my runny nose… ISIS militants cover their faces in black balaclavas… and I write birthday cards.

OH, LIFE.

Vicarious Living

published by Fran Shea

When Pam (our New England rep) calls me, I have to think for a second… Is this Classic Pam the Cat calling me from beyond the grave? pam staringBut no, that would be silly! Classic Pam is too busy.*heaven is a castlePam spent last week at the Javits center in New York, I think because she loves us.

We love you too, Pam.

She is faxing orders over willy-nilly and I am busily taking pictures of kittens.

(She’ll thank me later.)kittens white chair 2015

We want to be more than just friends with: Spruce & Gussy

published by Fran Shea

Spruce & Gussy -> 12 Mount Desert St. Bar Harbor, Maine

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

Alright, put on your mukluks, shove a wedge of chewing tobacky between your cheek and gum, and head Northeast.
**Weather Update: New England was CRIPPLED by, like, three feet of snow the other day. BUT BAR HARBOR DON’T CARE. They took it like a man. A man who is not wearing his orange jumpsuit.
WHAT?!
When (not IF) I get to Bar Harbor, I will make but one stop: Spruce & Gussy.
Shopping for all of my small-box items will be dreamy…I SEE YOU.spruce and gussy

Look for me, Michelle & Patti.
Look for me and my new friend, Bob Ross.bob ross

Case CLOSED (?)

published by Fran Shea

There were TWO mysteries at Zeichen Press HQ this week. I prayed and prayed to Benedict Cumberbatch,benedict cumberbatchand my prayers were sort of answered, because Jen came to search/tear the house apart.

FIRST, one of the five kittens was missing.Tib and Christmas kittensTib had means AND motive. She was questioned and released.tib mugshotPoor Tib… We accused her of eating her weakest kitten. (True story.)the strong would surviveThe kitten was later found, unharmed.

Sorry Tib.

But what was the second mystery, Fran??

HUSH, it will be explained in my Tell-All book, coming soon!

Winter Intermission

published by Fran Shea

OR to use a term I (maybe) coined:

Wintermission!

I’ve been enjoying hour after hour of On Hold Musickenny gand eating all of the Holiday Cookies.

Oh, AND setting up a GoFundMe for Tib The Cat. (Donate today to be eligible for one free kitten. Please. I beg of you.)fixing tib

AND HERE’S A BREAK-UP CARD. I’m a giver.

toxic-and-spineless-2