February 7, 1992 • 1:10 a.m.
Did I just wet my pants a little bit?? No… I am, like, totally, 42 weeks pregnant… That has to be my water breaking…
AND THUS BEGAN MY ILLUSTRIOUS CAREER OF MOTHERHOOD.
That baby turned 25 the other day and despite the challenges (super-poor, a string of stalkers, household hygiene issues, pretending to be a graphic designer/art director, more babies, homeschooling, Fran Shea’s Cat Ranch, and Zeichen Press) he still tolerates me.
I made a birthday card and I’ll show it to him after I explain where babies come from.
Oh, and SPEAKING OF BIRTHDAYS, RSVP licensed more of our art.
I believe I made myself pretty clear five years ago. And now I have no choice but to watch every season of everything on Netflix. I hope you’re happy.
I think Jesus said it best:
Who needs wax paper and crayon shavings when there are Zeichen Press cards??
And certainly not you. Order you loooover a card today.
Between writing poetry and sprinkling rose petals all over my own bed, I made this:
CRYING AND LAUGHING IN
THE SAME HOUR MAKES
HUMANS BETTER; STRONGER
“You know how every day someone asks “how are you?” And even if you’re totally dying inside, you just say “fine,” so everyone can go about their day? This show is the opposite of that. Hosted by author and notable widow (her words) Nora McInerny, this is a funny/sad/uncomfortable podcast about talking honestly about our pain, our awkwardness, and our humanness, which is not an actual word.“
Sure, talking about your gut health and fermented foods might make you the hit of a New Year’s Eve party, but try to remember it’s not about being popular… it’s about being healthy. HEALTHY.
Do I miss the days of eating and drinking whatever I wanted?? No, sir! Not when there are teenagers in the house who keep me from choking to death! Phew!
Thank the Lord I don’t ALSO have a tap-dancing sociopath in the house. That would make my new diet even more difficult and winning penmanship medals impossible.
Sometimes Millie puts her face right up to my face and her breath is so bad it fills me with rage. SPEAKING OF SMELLS, the third floor of my second apartment reeked of body odor (not mine) and potato curry, and every day I trudged down the hallway with a fat newborn and a backpack full of dreams. And that was how I crushed the Spring of 1992.
2016 is almost over but who’s still laughing? ME. That’s right, I may be surrounded by bad smells and bad news but I’m still on top. Here is my (perhaps) last Christmas card of the year:
Sandwiched between Freshman French and Physical Science was a class called Winter Sports. Three solid months learning badminton and cross-country skiing. Vintage equipment was pulled from a locked storage closet
and it was just like renting shoes from a bowling alley if the bowling alley was a Run on Baileys Building and Loan
and the disgruntled customers were 30, fifteen-year-old students
Class lasted for 50 minutes which was exactly enough time to gather winter wear from our lockers, run to the first floor, check out/swap boots and skis, bundle up, ski across the parking lot, turn around, ski back to school, return our gear/disrobe, run to our lockers, and head to class.
Speaking of Winter Sports, my friend and I discussed her Solo-Sledding adventures the other day. She told me it’s her Me Time. Good for her!
Argh! I know how you feel, cats! Day in and day out, with no real distraction!
Luckily, *I* have something lighthearted to think about!
Do you need ANOTHER thing to do this Holiday Season?
How about a COLORING CONTEST??
But, Fran, how could I possibly fit this into my busy schedule??
THAT’S EASY BECAUSE WE BROKE IT DOWN INTO STEPS!
~ Step 1: print this picture
~ Step 2: color the picture like your life depends on it
~ Step 3: take a photo of your colored masterpiece with your super smartphone OR scan
~ Step 4: send to firstname.lastname@example.org ~ or snailmail to us
Zeichen Press will choose the winner AND and that person will receive free cards!!!
i like you too -> 416 Snelling South Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105
ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.
knew it wasn’t right to deprive the good people of St. Paul all of that hand-crafted goodness for one more minute. After all, they are THE purveyors of one-of-a-kind-locally-made-gifts.
They remind me of me and Jen except Jen has way more tattoos and piercings. Some day you’ll be as cool as us, ladies. SOME DAY.
They transformed a blank canvas on Snelling
into something WORTHY ENOUGH to carry Zeichen Press cards.
And they have other cute stuff too. Or whatever.