Posts in Winter

February 27, 2015
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As I said goodbye to yet another kitten from our cat ranch,

I thought to myself, "I bet this is exactly how Beyoncé feels when she drops an album." And then I thought, "My skin is so dry."

I wish I could travel back in time... back to the 1970's when there were environmental chambers built into the walls of health club locker rooms... (I think this is a real memory and that I'm not just pasting a false memory on top of a traumatic childhood locker room incident... those topless moms blow-drying their hair... Wait, am I?? Omg... Beep beep boop: Tropical Rainforest?? Yes, please!)

NO MATTER, here's a new card!

 

Posts in Winter

February 15, 2015
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My grandpa's battleship was bombed and he had to tread water for 13 hours WHILE he kept his unconscious buddy afloat. That was just like the time in 2009 that I swam out to meet the seal.

SPEAKING OF TREADING WATER.

It's mid-February in Minnesota.

Posts in Winter

January 29, 2015
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Spruce & Gussy -> 12 Mount Desert St. Bar Harbor, Maine

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

Alright, put on your mukluks, shove a wedge of chewing tobacky between your cheek and gum, and head Northeast. 
**Weather Update: New England was CRIPPLED by, like, three feet of snow the other day. BUT BAR HARBOR DON'T CARE. They took it like a man. A man who is not wearing his orange jumpsuit.
WHAT?!
When (not IF) I get to Bar Harbor, I will make but one stop: Spruce & Gussy.
Shopping for all of my small-box items will be dreamy...
Look for me, Michelle & Patti.
Look for me and my new friend, Bob Ross.

Posts in Winter

January 11, 2015
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I shed my layers this week and exposed my sun damaged, yet somehow pale, flesh to anyone unfortunate enough to glance over at me.

Sun was absorbed, golf carts were driven, and books were begun.

THAT'S RIGHT.

Golf carts were driven.

 

 

Posts in Winter

December 30, 2014
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OR to use a term I (maybe) coined:

Wintermission!

I've been enjoying hour after hour of On Hold Music

and eating all of the Holiday Cookies.

Oh, AND setting up a GoFundMe for Tib The Cat. (Donate today to be eligible for one free kitten. Please. I beg of you.)

---

AND HERE'S A BREAK-UP CARD. I'm a giver.

 

Posts in Winter

December 23, 2014
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Thanks to buzzfeed quizzes, examining my conscience is so much easier. And shouldn't we all ask ourselves those tough questions this time of year? "If I were a pizza, what kind would I be?" Or, "Do I prefer Miley Cyrus from her Hanna Montana days or on a Wrecking Ball?" 

But what is a life if it's not examined? Not picked apart? Not squeezed like an engorged tick in a ziplock baggie?

I make cards between all of this productive introspection. Sometimes fictional creatures are harmed. Sometimes, they are spared.

Merry Christmas Eve-Eve!

Posts in Winter

December 12, 2014
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My agent wants a second book, he assures me that he'll sell this one. He better, because I bought a $95 rug from Target. We're not all fancy New Yorkers, Peter. WE'RE NOT.

So, it looks like this Winter will look just like last Winter... Except, I had the kids drag the trunk down from the attic for a coffee table.

Oh, the cats? Never mind those. This place is crawling with them.

Fine, here's this year's Christmas tree. 

Posts in Winter

December 4, 2014
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Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping?? 

Amazon? 

Shut your mouth.

Let me be more specific. LET ME.

Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping for amazing hand-made gifts while laughing with friends and/or family, eating ethnically diverse foods, AND SEE FRAN AND JEN??

THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!

Omg... that's TOMORROW! Oh, THAT'S what Jen has been talking about! And THAT'S what these boxes are for!

 

See you there!

XO!