One of my stalkers used to say, "I've gottalotta things in the hopper. A lot. In the hopper." I often wondered if one of those things in the hopper was making a skin suit out of me. But I never asked - I love surprises.

He once chased me on roller skates. I wasn't even scared.

WE'VE got a lot of things in the hopper: A Logo, Oscar-luncheon-gift-bag-goodies, a show at a gallery, a speaking engagement in front of pre-schoolers, a bat mitzvah invitation, more stupid catalogs.

I'm nervous about the speaking engagement. If I make eye-contact with any one of those children they'll own me. The last thing I need is a room full of kids throwing lead type at my head. In preparation for the upcoming events I decided that someone should clean our little shop of horrors. Someone did. Isn't it cute? *Note the framed photo of Kelly Clarkson next to the hanging hammer.