Posts in Family

April 1, 2013
zeichenpress

My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.

We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it — that was for early morning efficiency... I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.

I was so slow!

She would coat her arms in Elmer's Glue,

I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.

I don't know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.

No, what am I saying? She did not. In fact, she created the fear!

Siblings can be so cruel.


Posts in Family

April 1, 2013
zeichenpress

Jen was part of a dangerous expedition

and I have been monitoring the terrain on our homebase. This could only be successful if I sat on a pizza box in the snow.

I'm sure my view was similar to Jen's so I question her need for the expedition.

New product was added to the shop and I can't help but wonder which cards will sell well... will they be sheep-related?:

Or not?

 

 

 

Posts in Family

March 23, 2013
zeichenpress

PHEW!

My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought a tripod from a stranger on Craiglist and he made no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the "real deal" so that should help.

As if that wasn't fulfilling enough, I realized my calling as a social media doula by gently helping Tanek onto Facebook.

It was beautiful — I bawled like a baby and insisted on bare-bottom spankings. I was told that was "unprofessional". 

Here's a new release teaser:

 

 

Posts in Family

March 15, 2013
zeichenpress

She waited.

Paced the widow's walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

But no!

And who but those onboard could know the truth — was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

Or was it The Kraken?


 

Posts in Family

February 26, 2013
zeichenpress

My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word 'glib' in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.

She was right!

I think I felt insulted.

I'm sure Jen's high school English teacher said something similar about her.

And if not, she should have.

What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card? 

Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon — can you believe it?! 

And Jen's reckless behavior?? You'll have to ask her about that... I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)

 

Posts in Family

February 10, 2013
zeichenpress

For Immediate Release: In an attempt to build the Zeichen Press Fan Base, Jen Shea and Fran Shea will appear on a local cable-access show locked in a cell and covered in Fancy Feast™. 1,000 cats will be released into the cell through a small hatch. Fran and Jen will sing a medley of famous duets, including Islands In the Stream, Endless Love, and You Don't Bring Me Flowers.

###

Posts in Family

February 5, 2013
zeichenpress

I've been told that life is full of challenges. And I'm sure that, someday, I'll encounter one. I hope it's not a shipwreck or banishment. ...I will probably contract the Ebola Virus. I designed a card for myself in preparation.

Oh, but here's a more "buyable" card for those of us that need encouragement:

 

Posts in Family

January 25, 2013
zeichenpress

I've nursed a few babies in my day and that makes me an expert on sacrifice.

It does.

Or is it laziness? Making a bottle seemed like so much work! ...Get out of my cozy bed, walk all the way to the kitchen, measure and pour powdered formula into a bottle, warm water in pan on stove, add water to bottle, test temperature

OR

lift up my shirt.

Anyway, I made a card for the new mother: