This just in: American Woman Discovers Toronto, Plants U.S. Flag in Every Starbucks

The customs official demanded we tell him our plans while in Toronto. I told him it was none of his business, and as I reached for the silver cigarette case in my coat pocket, I was wrestled to the ground. The tasers saved me a trip to the bathroom. 

Thank God my husband speaks Canadian or we'd still be in the interrogation room.

I should have told that official that my plans were to watch t.v. in my bathroom mirror while soaking in the tub. I think that's what I did? My head still hurts pretty bad from being banged on the terrazzo.

Like Dora the Explorer, I packed a map and a monkey in my backpack, finished my screwdriver, and headed out.

Using the handy Where To Buy page as a guide, I was able to track down three local stores that carry Zeichen Press goods. Needless to say, my reception was overwhelming - being hoisted up on shoulders and paraded down Queen Street was too much. Do you hear me, shopkeepers??

°°°

First shop: Outer Layer, a cheerful boutique. Full of fun and, dare I say, whimsy? No. I'll never say that again.

But how else could I describe a doll that is also a cheese grater?

Or the Ann Taintor magnet collection on the antique bank safe??

Or a manager named Jett Black???


°°°

On to Shop #2: Valhalla Cards & Gifts:

This shop felt like everything in it was curated by a man named Chadwick. Wait, it was! From the Dumpling Dynasty Bunny Kit:

To the Unicorn Wishes action figure:

This shop wouldn't let me leave - Chadwick finally had to throw me out. But not before he placed an order for more cards.

°°°

Okay, onto #3: The Paper Place:

Because paper is my bread & butter, I felt extra reverent crossing the threshold. As I knelt before the card rack, something inside me said, "hey! I wonder if this place has erasers shaped like peanuts."

And it did! I bought the whole bowl.

I hugged the sock zebra before I left. It was time to go. I knew this because I saw the policeman walking through the door.

Until we meet again, Toronto. Until we meet again.

 

Comments

June 27, 2011
The squirrels have unionized and demand "real" peanuts.
June 27, 2011
Those erasers might serve to attract squirrels to your shop if you leave the door open. Maybe you can put them on a treadmill to run your press.
June 24, 2011
You are lucky we didn't get Homeland Security to send you home via Syria. Imagine pulling a silver cigarette case out in a public place! Don't you know Canadians are not allowed to smoke in public?
June 24, 2011
The US government thanks Canada for allowing Fran to return home. We need those cards.
June 24, 2011
DID YOU BUY ME A PEANUT ERASER!?!?

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